being extra on the side

i've been always on the big side since i was small... it was noticable when i was kid when my cousin and i stopped wearing the same size of clothes.... when i was a kid, it didn't really bother me as somehow there were a few of my size (or even bigger than me...) in school...

then in later primary and secondary school, it was obvious and abit frustrating as there were school PE clothes to buy, and school activities uniforms to get and sometimes costumes to wear for events in school where they needed to "custom" made for me - cause of my size... and also its frustrating when u have peer pressure where u get the skinny pretty ones getting all the attention (be it girls, teachers, boys....)

but over the years, thank God i've become to terms of my size, though sometimes u get ppl commenting on it, giving "advise" on how to settle my "issue" and esp when i go shopping... it's only 2% i can find clothes my size that actually looks nice....

when u get older, as an adult, in the working world... no one actually bothers of how big u are, because when u're older u learn to know ppl for who they are and not how they look like.. but when it comes to children, my phobia/fear comes back.. because children tell the truth, children don't know what hurts, what does not.... so when i'm around them.... i keep telling myself, hoping that they won't embarress me about my weight and my problem with acne.. and when they DO comment on it... it just really "makes" my day la.... sigh...

but u can't actually stay away from kids ALL the time right? they're everywhere... and u can't blame them, they're innocent... they don't know why u're fat and why u have that pimple on your face... so i just have to accept it and just brush it off over my head... and just hope they don't make comments like that, ever again, but u can never say... untill they grow up - which they WILL......