Monday, January 29, 2007

do u...

do u tell ppl that you're depressed?
well, i don't know, but i was glad that he was able to see that something bothered me, i really wanted to tell him what was (is) bothering me but we weren't in the best of time/place to have talks like this....
i broke down last night and no thanks to my swollen tonsils, i was in pain too... sucky man... heart pain and body pain too.... wanted to skip work today but nah.... better do something to keep my mind off "stuffs".... hope i feel better after work today... sigh.....

Saturday, January 27, 2007

feeling shitty

yea i am.... and i think it's getting to me, being "alone"... it's starting to get to me.. now that i'm so called "settled" here in KL.... there's nothing much going on for me right now....
i do get this when i'm bored and spending too much time indoors.... but then again, it may not be that, but something else - and it doesn't help when all u see on tv are lovey dovey movies, books i read are about one and u see them everywhere on the bus, on the trains...
damn.... at least i'm with family, that helps but the feeling is still there when i'm alone...
am bloody working today after having a holiday yesterday - no thanks to aussies celebrating their victory taking over other ppls land... weird uh... on thurs night, i met up with me long lost cousin - luke.... he's "churchie" now... and a wee bit different, though i could manage to bring out the OLD luke i always know and love... i guess when all of us get older we some how change in a way too... *wonders- have i changed?
so we met at KLCC, and went to Pelita down the road of Jln Ampang to have dinner - not as nice as the Pelita in penang... then after that, we were sick sitting there and we went back to KLCC.. wanted to watch a movie but the movie list sucked and we were about 10 mins late for any movie that was showing, in the end we sat at Lecka Lecka and chit chatted.... gosh, had memory flash backs and damn, it made me feel worst.... NOT that it's because of meeting Luke but because of having someone i can confide in, there with me.... it was 8 something and i was SUPPOSED to go home.... but i didn't want to, i wanted to be out... we in the end went out to the KLCC park and thank god the weather was lovely (windy) we sat outside, watching the twin towers and watching the dancing fountains... and talked somemore...
but it all had to end, we had to get going - both of us had to take the trains home.... we were heading opposite directions but luke can be such a sweety, he followed me to my station before he went back - i had to give him a HUGE hug, more of I needed one
sigh.. it was all good, i met him after like soooo freaking long... and i'm happy to see him happy...
i did a movie marathon yesterday when i was home- no work, i watched Derailed and Longest Yard... got it from pauline... gosh, i need to bring them back to her... it's been some weeks dee... and ppl in the hse deprived on movies too... they're not too keen on TV shows - no good for kids so must get new movies to watch
i can't wait for next month! i think i'll take the bus back to pg on the 14th... dun want to be "around" the valentine's fever....grrr.... already the 6th year anniversary will be on the 6th but that doesn't matter anyway right now.... :( what's sad, i used to love februaries, but in this situation of not knowing where i stand, it's depressing... at least i'll be coming home to pg to EAT and see mum and dad
ppl say i lost weight... i don't think i did cause none of my clothes are loose.... and i haven't weighed myself, harlo ppl.. it's only been like 3 weeks since xmas??!! how to loose weight in that amount of time?
done... works done... me gonna have BK with the guys....

Sunday, January 21, 2007

The Sun - Baskin and Robbins

every morning when i reach Masjid Jamek station to walk to the office, there will be piles and piles of The Sun newspaper for ppl to take - FOR FREE! that's not all, in the paper, everyday there's a lil cut out for Baskin and Robbins ice cream, buy one scoop of that day's flavour and get another for free!! and everyday the flavour changes... cool eh!.... but then, where i am, there's no Baskin and Robbins around... and well, there's none in Gombak too... so i don't really (in fact - i never) used the coupons.... but it's good eh... where penang got such things? hahahah....

sigh... bye bye late nights

really la.... by 10pm, my eyes are closing, i loose concentration and all i yearn for is to have a bath and go to sleep... sad innit?! sigh..... and when i do that, 9.30am and i'm up! sheesh!! where did the late night shimmers gone??!!!! ooohhh noooooo!!!!
and i've been missing my Gilmore Girls and One Tree Hill!! so sad la wei....
yesterday waiting for my godma to finish her lunch at The Curve, there were seats in the middle area of the mall, i sat there, ppl watching.... and decided i start contact with Luke, my cousin... so i called him and it seems he was busy in church (yea! i know!!) and is working with Martin Jalleh... a youth coordinator where ALL the youth that came to know him - LOVE him... though i haven't seen him or been to his talks before, i've heard that when u listen to him, u'll be in awe.... wonder why i haven't been to his talks before... ANYWAY..... luke's busy during the weekends, so we plan to meet during the weekday after my work.... it's been like.. so fking long since i saw him! he was supposed to come to my hse for xmas (on his way back to ipoh) but never did, didn't know the way to my hse it seems.... oh well, just home i'll be able to meet him this week....
so yesterday, before going shopping, i had a swim....a 30 min swim.... and i came back, happily i saw that i kena bakar abit.. good la! hahha... while swimming, i saw this guy, he looks like the lead singer in Disagree.... though no funky mohawk do... but really looks like him, with a wife and young kid... i did hear that he did get married, so i'm really not sure if it's him... if it's him... well i swam with Disagree!! hahahah... (i sound so "sad".. hahahah)
i think i'll start that routine.... i'll do my pilates after work at home..... and on the weekends, go swimming.... hmm... now that it's getting really hot the weather here, isn't that a good plan?
i don't know if i'm loosing weight, no weighing scale in the house and "some" of my clothes feel looser but then again it might just be my head "bluffing" me, just because i walk miles and miles a day....
gosh, really miss my girls back home, have no idea what they're up to? if they found new "ones" or heard juicy gossips or getting married or still pining for that same old "one" or still complaining that some ppl doesn't give a shit to them... sigh.. i miss u girls...
as for me, the guys here are nice, different types of characters and it's very interesting.... but i have a feeling that i'm becoming like what i was when i was in school.... i'm becoming their "buddy".... their guy friend... which is cool anyway.... but it's still early, it's only been a month... WHAT???? it's ALREADY been a month! gosh!!! look how time flies....
i'll be coming back to penang in feb..... ppl... I'M COMING BACK IN FEBRUARY!!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

internet deprived

so i'm spending my weekend in TTDI at godma's place.... brought my camera digital card to upload pics here but, this pc is win 98 and it couldn't recognize my card reader.... so... still no pics.. sorry ya....
where did i leave off... well, godma had a lunch treat by her friends so i was alone shopping at the curve! yeah!!.... i ONLY did some window shopping, though there was nothing much at the curve, but then again, i may not know where to go.... so for lunch, i treated myself at Italianis.... didn't know what to eat, had to call rosie for recommendation, in the end i got a ceaser salad and alfredo pasta thingy (the one with cheese and cream - white white colour wan - cher's fav) and a mango juice.... ok la.... i agree, it IS nice, but if u're eating alone.... not very nice.. heheheh....
so finally managed to go to Tesco to stack up on my grocery stock... couldn't get much cause i'll be taking the train back to gombak... didn't want to carry much.... ONLY if i had a car... hehhehe....
weather here in KL.... hot.. but then it suddenly rains... weird....
it's the visit malaysia year 2007.... 50 year independance and they're making such a big deal on the "eye" of malaysia... the ferris wheel.... largest in south east asia - it seems.... 15 bucks for a 30 min ride.... i still don't know if that's worth it... haven't seen how big it is yet.... and it seems it's only gonna be around for the whole of this year, come 2008, they're gonna take it down....
had a first meeting with the new colleagues, and they'r a nice bunch, and i'm already considered a "senior" ... well sort of la... i'm only 2 weeks older than they are..... and i get 2... i tell u, TWO flat panels babeh!!!! yeah!!! and i found out that i can put TWO wall papers on it!! cool eh? nyeh nyeh nyeh.... pc also new (from hell), even headsets are brand new, out from the box!! hahahah.... sweet!!
am planning to come back to penang next month, most likely the weekend before cny... still got things to bring to kl from penang... and sigh, i miss my girls!!! it's so different with the friends i have here...
hmm.. will write soon later tonight, gonna get ready for church......
gosh i miss blogging...

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

i'm so internet deprived

though i got my own pc, i have time what so ever to go online to do my stuff... sigh..
here i am, early as ever, 7.40am..... no one's around, so just have to update abit, before anyone comes in....
last night was a shock for me, after some time i haven't been driving, i drove andre's car. not to say last night was the first time driving?! last night was my second time, and the first time i drove was perfect! i don't know why last night the car just stopped on me so many times!! damn! just hope my driving skills has not deteriorated... i mean, i LOVE driving and i've been driving terribaly OLD cars before, this should be no prob man! why couldn't i do it last night? .. sigh.. i dunno.... i really need more practise... but no car to do so!!!! * cry* .....
with what happened last night, it really got to me and was really thinking of getting a car real soon.... but financially, i may be able to handle but, what if after my 3 month probation, i'm not able to "be" at that standard, i may be "layed" off... so how? should i get my car after the 3 months probation? or.......
this morning i was taking the bus and train and walk as normal, and when i was doing that, i just thought to myself, is this me ah... being on the rat race... rushing to work (though i was early) with all these people, shoulder to shoulder, have no life after work... come to think of it, i had MORE life when i was in hell, then now...
i don't know, i'm confused, though work is fine, i'm taking calls on my own... able to solve each call, just that it's quite stressed AND my calls are abit too long than normal... supposed to be in 13 mins, but i'm doing it in more than 20 mins! damn!!!
boss is here, need to go...
sigh... KL... sigh
what have i gotten myself into?!

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

the year that was

should i make a list like rosie did? maybe not, brain's too tired to think... but all as i can say that it's been a VERY VERY wild ride....
been over the sea, getting used to my job in hell, heard bad news bout ppl, had good news bout ppl, been closer to my friends, learnt to appreciate my friends and REALISED that i have wonderful babes, had a wonderful birthday, didn't get drunk though but had equally lovely time, travelled more on my own without depending on ppl, doing the things i've wanted to do and the MAJOR events happened just a month or two ago.... 1) i lost... and 2) i GAINED a life changing decision..... was stressed bout the whole thing but as where i am now, it's all good... it's been a balance, u can't have EVERYTHING, u need a balance, u lose some u gain some (though i hope what i lost, i could get it back again...)
so, lesson learnt, though sometimes, u get stung from life, u heal and u move forward.... :)

Happy NEW YEAR ppl!

sigh... i'm SOOOOO internet deprived... haven't been online for fucks! now, here waiting for my ride back home, the guy still got work to do... so, chun la can check my mails... nyeh nyeh nyeh...
HAPPY NEW YEAR !
hope this year brings u lots of joy, adventures and HAPPINESS...
gosh, i need that right now....
work has been so so la, tension as manager keeps throwing spot techie questions at me, sometimes i get all surprised i blur out.. then today, started to take calls, 3 calls, but hell, nearly shat in my pants, but thanks to my 1year+ in hell, i managed to get through the customer service part, just need to be more confident in my techie side.... sheesh, i'm gonna be a geek! *cry*
life in KL? well, i'm staying with my cousin andre in SRI GOMBAK (not gombak, not batu caves, but SRI gombak - for those who want to find me, i'm there...) and have to WALK to the bus stand, take the bus, take the train, WALK to the office..... then after work, WALK to the train station and luckily have carol (andre's wife) to pick us up, if not, have to take the bus and WALK home... (noticed i stressed on WALK? hehehe) well it's fun, for now, getting my exercise... but still.. it's no fun doing all these walking in working clothes... me lovely rosie got me a pilates book... haven't used it yet (sorry rosie) but i will, i also DID buy a pilates mat, so, in time i WILL use it!
it's kinda weird, no, i can't say weird but DIFFERENT (and a nice feeling) staying here. family here is so family oriented, they play board games together, watch famly movies together, have dinner together at the table, and everyones so nice in the family (AND extended family)... so different from home, not that my house is "cold", it's just different.... they have given me a different view on what a family CAN be like... and it gives me a fuzzy, cosy feeling....
ppl in kl are so different, everyone's rushing somewhere, sometimes i get down the bus and before i can take 3 steps away from the bus, there are ppl cutting me from behind.. like wtf! why such in a rush? not to say the train is leaving, it's NOT EVEN THERE yet!!.... i'm telling myself, as long as i time myself properly, i can just take my time walking or going wherever i'm going.... right now, i feel like i'm a lost fella in the race, but i'm NOT lost, i just don't want to be them.... u have to be here with me to know what i'm saying, in a train ride, lets say 25 mins ride, there'll be SOOOO many ppl in the train, that sometimes your face will be at another person's face or worst thing, armpit for that whole 20+ mins.... sad man!! so far, i've only went through that once or twice... wonder how long will i be able to tahan all this...
and then comes my new years resolution - to get a CAR! worst comes to worst, end of this year, if not, trying to get mid this year.... so watch out ya... any inputs on the what nots of getting a car?
it's quite weird again, though i KNOW that a HSBM friend IS a cousin of carol, just that i didn't give it any thought about it. but now, after xmas when i'm back in KL, i saw him at carols family place and i got estatic! i was so happy to meet a familiar face! too bad he didn't have time to chat, but i managed to put it in his head that we're actually "family" which is soooooo soooo weird i tell u... i mean, back in BM, we used to go clubbing, have "drinks" by the beach, hang out.... but never had it in mind that we're some how connected, now, it's more obvious and i found out his nickname his family calls him! hahahhaha.... u could have seen him blush when he found out that i knew his nickname! hahahha....
so far as i can tell bout myself, that i'm doing quite ok here staying in KL, though maybe i'm not THAT really on my own, it may not be that stressfull yet, i guess when i DO move out and live on my own with strangers, i may feel the stress... now that i'm STILL with family, it makes my "transition" go smoothly.... i don't think i may be able to move out YET, i'm still getting used to my new bed, new bathroom, new kitchen, new hse.... so in the mean time, i'm well taken care off, thanks so much to andre and family...
that's all for now, am about to go.... 2 hrs dee waiting for my team leader.... sigh.... geeks.. sheesh... hahahah..... who knows, i may be one of them... bluueegghhh..... :P