i got let down...

yes..i got let down AGAIN....

my baby was to show up... he was to take yesterday's evening bus (reach here about midnite or so)... but no... he wasn't in time.. so he thought he'd take the midnite bus (reach here bout 4am or so).. but had no more tickets.. so fine... then he said he'll take the 7am bus which he NEVER was able to do that from the time i met him up till now (reach here about lunch time).. so what happened? i got an sms from him at 12pm! saying that he just got up.. so what to do? had to take the bus straight to Alor Star!!! cause there wouldn't be anytime to see me here in Penang.... and he said he'll come see me Monday... pffttt i don't think that will happen cause he'll be stuck at home and by the time he gets to leave it's Monday afternoon/evening and he has class on Tuesday!! where got time to come see me on MONDAY???

i calmed myself down and said to myself that i shouldn't be bothered bout this... i got other better things to do.. LIKE THE BBQ!! YEA!!!!.... ok so that wasn't really a priority but hey at least i won't be getting depressed...

sigh....

i think i'm addicted... addicted to my baby... it's like if i don't get a dose of him (dose meaning talk to him, see him..) i'll get redrawals (spelling??)..hmm.. looks like i got to find some antidote..... hmm.....

the weekend!!

YEAY!!!!!

it's friday!! and i got the car!!! (double happiness!!)

thought of getting balloons for my cousin's (Blur Dugong) birthday... but Anna told me that there were left over balloons from my cousin's kids McDonald's party.. so went to check that out and yeah!!! got one full bag of balloons!! hehehe looks like Blur will be blurred with McD balloons in her house!! muahahahah

managed to catch my "source" online and now he's helping me with my client-email-server thingy... looks like there's so much more to do... version old la, outdated package la, this la that la... sigh...

been having a "i-need-space" time with my baby.. guess the pressure of assignments due, exam pressure and lousy teammates are getting to him (and i'm the one who has to suffer.. not fair!) but then it's all good (i think). he's to come to Penang today to attend a convention with his mum, sis and bro... so hope he'll be ok.. get a small break from it...

my poor baby....

was supposed to go out with Melissa again tonight but she's meeting with her friends... a friends birthday...

ohh well... maybe i'll just go hang out have some Gurney Drive desserts or something later... hmm.... shall i have rojak? or muar chi? or ... laksa?......

eeerieee......

i have a feeling this is where my supervisor want me to work when i finish my thesis... grrrr.....

Malaysian Government acts to IPv6-enable the nation
Posted on Wednesday, March 23

PENANG: All government departments are expected to be IPv6 (Internet Protocol version 6) compliant by 2008, said Energy, Water, and Communications Ministry secretary-general Datuk Dr Halim Shafie last Friday.

“We have established a National IPv6 council under the ministry to provide the vision, mission, and strategic plan for IPv6 implementation in the country,” he said.

The Government is also currently working out a budget for the promotion of IPv6 in Malaysia, he added.

Halim told a press conference that IPv6 is one of the three main technologies – besides broadband and sensor technologies – identified for promotion under the coming 9th Malaysian Plan.

“IPv6 is the underlying platform for all future application technologies. It enables the use of more IP addresses and provides better security than the current IPv4, which remains widely used,” he said.

IPv6, for example, enables every Internet user in the world today to have 10,000 IP addresses each. IPv4, however, can only accommodate a single IP address for every 10,000 users.

Halim was speaking after launching the National Advanced v6 Centre of Excellence (NAv6) at the Universiti Sains Malaysia here.

The university has been appointed by the Government to spearhead the research and development as well as human resource training for its IPv6 initiative.

Present at the event were USM deputy vice-chancellor (research and development) Datuk Prof Muhammad Idris Saleh and NAv6 centre director Associate Prof Dr Sureswaran Ramadass.

According to Halim, USM was chosen as the site for the NAv6 centre because of its excellence in IPv6 research and development work.

“The centre, operating since March 1, is involved in conducting cutting-edge research and development work, training IPv6 experts, and planning appropriate programmes to make Malaysia an IPv6-enabled nation by 2010,” he said.

Meanwhile, Dr Sureswaran said the NAv6 centre had applied to the Government for RM30mil to fund its activities.

“Malaysia is still far behind in IPv6 research and is lacking in IPv6 experts and infrastructures. There are still a lot of areas that need to be covered,” he said.

“In order for Malaysia to be a leading country in next-generation technology advancements, we need to be equipped with the necessary human expertise to fuel this development.

“This is where local research institutions and universities come in, providing the necessary ingredients to nurture IPv6 experts in the country,” said Dr Sureswaran.

Source: TechCentral

back on track...

last night i went out with Melissa (Aaron's sister) and managed to hang out for an hour or so.... so nice having someone to talk to and to go out with!! .... we might meet again on friday.. not too sure....

managed to get my problem settled with the FreeBSD... come to think of it i only needed two lines of code to make it connect to the internet... sheesh... but then good also.. cause if it was more than that... i'm sure to be in BIG BIG TROUBLE!!!!

surprisingly today isn't that hot... it's cloudy and windy.. wanted to sleep somemore but it was already 1.30pm... hmmm..... anyway, at least i won't be in a grumpy mood (because of the weather being to hot) cause it's kinda cool doing my work...

chatted with a cousin (David) who's staying in KL (with his sister Audrey), he's into foosball... didn't know he was into it.. guess being in KL, that's what the happening sport is...

can't wait to watch "Gol dan Gincu" a local movie where Melissa Maureen (my friend) will be acting in it.. the cast is all hip and happening (and up coming) actors and actresses.... hope it's a good one.. it's about girls playing foosball!! and the lead actress is Mel's best friend Fazura! how nice!! two best friends acting in the same movie...

ohh ohh.. i also can't wait for the coming Indonesian movie "Tentang Dia"... it has the either same producer or writer or director as my favourite "Ada Apa Dengan Cinta?"... heheh Melly also wrote the soundtrack for it (just like AADC). i've heard the song and it's quite nice... eeee can't wait!!!!

been downloading "That 70's Show".... i've gotten the 1st and 2nd season already... currently downloading 3rd, 4th, 5th and 6th.... nyeh nyeh nyeh... so funny la!!!

hmm... my cousin's (Blur Dugong) birthday is coming up... and we're having a BBQ!!! yeay!!! i love BBQ's!!! and it seems got so much other foods and desserts!!! woohooo..... the DUGONG's will be there too!! (except for my baby, that is....)

will be going to college soon....

*lazy.......*

it couldn't been said any better...

got this forward from a friend in my email.. i thought it was something so true to me....

What is PRESENCE?

A man going abroad to work leaves his fiancée crying. "Don't worry, I will write you everyday," he said. For years he did write her. But since he was happy with his job, he had no immediate plans of going home.

One day, he received a wedding invitation. His fiancée was scheduled to be married. To whom? To the mailman bringing regularly the letters of her boyfriend! Indeed, distance does make hearts flounder.

The poor boyfriend surely explained, "What went wrong? I sent her letters, chocolates, and flowers."

When relationships go wrong, the list of things given and done for the person usually crops up. We say, "I have given you this and that... I have done these things for you." It seems that love is simply proven by the bestowal of gifts and favors. But while presents are important, love demands what is basic: 'presence of the beloved'.

I have observed for instance, the orchids of my mother's. When she's away for a long time, they are unhealthy and many of them wither. But when she is around, they bloom with beautiful flowers. My mother does nothing exceptional. She just spends much time talking and caressing them.

I guess persons all the more require a caring presence.

Love is fundamentally a commitment to a person. We may be committed to our business, job, hobby, sports and clubs. But strictly speaking, they cannot love us back. Only a person can love us in return, and for that matter, the highest commitment as human beings, is spending time with those persons we love.

And since people need affection and nourishment, material things can only help up to a certain degree in fostering love. But it can never replace the greatest gift of presence becuz everyone needs someone - be it friends, parents, siblings or simply that 'special' one.

Being there for someone need not necessary mean having to say a lot. Words are sometimes redundant. Remember that 'presence' (to be there for someone) is more than enough.

in deep shit again....

i thought i'd have a wonderful day today, mum brought me to college, had good lunch, air-con was quite ok in college....

then i came to find out that the lab tutors reformatted the pc which is my router (using FreeBSD) and FreeBSD is gone!!! so i got to re-install FreeBSD and configure every damn thing again!!!! shits...!!!! i thought it will be ok cause i got the steps written down properly (thank god for that)...

but then......

i tried installing FreeBSD for a million times and it can't seem to be connected to the internet!!!! shits!!! if it can't get connected to the internet how am i to download the files and configure them?????? i can't use other pcs to download it for me cause it's not any other kind of files.. it's FreeBSD files and only by using FreeBSD it can be downloaded.... shits!!!!

here i am 8pm++ and trying to re-install for the million-th time.. was doing this since 3pm!!! i can't believe that those lab fellas reformated the whole damm thing!!! yes i know they had to because that pc had virus but couldn't they save my FreeBSD.. it WAS in D:

sigh... dunno how to tell my supervisor... i hope my "source" will come up with a solution before i tell my supervisor about it.. and this time it's NOT MY FAULT!!! DAMN IT!!!!! and i got to suffer for that.....!!!!!

WHY!!!! WHY!!!!! why now?? since i'm THIIIISSSS close in finishing it!!!

DAMN IT!!!!

solution...??

come to think of it .. there is none but it's how one comes back to reality to know that there is no time for depression....

in my quest for answers or rather "remedies" to cure depression.. i thought i'd ask my mum... i know she isn't a role model for some ... but was just curious if she had a "depression" moment in her life...

Fiona: have u had depression in your growing up life?

Mum: what depression? i had no time for depression...

*at this moment i sort of knew that would be her answer as i knew about her growing up "life"...*

Mum: was in school.. after that went to work... weekends i would go out and come back late... used to tell grandad to leave the key hanging at the window....bla bla bla....
Fiona: didn't u hang out with Godma or Aunty Shirley? *mum's sisters*
Mum: no not really, but the time i was that age they left home and got their own families...

*so guess she was like something like me - only child at home*

Mum: but then never did have any depression.. was busy going out....

so ok... i had that "time" where i was a rebel, going out late, clubbing, drinking with people you would NEVER think i'd be hanging out with.... even though that made my cousin and aunty to get really pissed and mad at me thinking that i'm a drunkard... (heck even my parents didn't really get that pissed) but thinking back now... at that time, even though it wasn't a good way of "spending" my time ... at least i wasn't DEPRESSED!!!

now that i'm sober, goody-two-shoes, i'm depressed... so what does that tell me... that it's better to get screwed and not be depressed or not get screwed and get depressed??

but i know... it's better to be not screwed, get depressed but find a way out so that u'll grow into a better person...

*hmm... deep......*

baby.. if u are reading this.. u sure to be proud of me.. hmm??

depression strikes back...

yes it has...

was home for the weekend.. was really feeling shitty... it was that feeling of.. "oohh.. i'm so lonely" ... "oohh.. everything is all wrong"... "oohh... no one loves me".... "oohhh no one cares for me".. and "oohhh maybe i should just dissapear or run away"... yea was that bad...

couldn't talk about it (cause there was no one to talk to) and all i did was stay in bed and occasionally cry... but then i was thinking that dad's home too so i got myself together and went downstairs... then dad told me to go to church alone cause he wanted to do some cycling.. damn!! i was thinking "even my own dad don't want to be with me!".....

when he left the house i was wondering.. maybe i should go f*** church.. but then again something tells me that i might feel better if i go... so dragged myself to get a bath and went to church.. at first it was ok.. then the priest was talking about separations (separations like when a kid goes to school for the first time and first time away from parents.. or like when a kid goes away for college or uni away from parents or friends parting just to go home from a day out or even bf/gf parting to go home or to go each others way).. that really got to me.. started to cry in church (knowing that that's how i feel bout being separated from everyone and that i'm all alone)... the cry didn't last it only lasted like 3 seconds or so.... i tried to bring myself together and stay calm till church is over....

then it got to me again... was thinking maybe i should get into an accident so that people will actually pay attention to me and come see me in hospital... but then again the logic side of me tells me that it's gonna be hayvok and a problem to my dad (car insurance, hospital bills.. no $$) so that isn't a good idea...

so i told myself.. better i go to the mall and go find for my cousin's birthday present to keep my mind off things.. so i did... but couldn't find any... i also bought dinner back for myself and dad.... by the time i got home and had dinner.. i was sort of ok... cause i had tv to watch (which always gets my head off things)...

then it came to a phone call with my baby.. i didn't want to tell him bout my depression cause he warned me about it and told me to get over it by.... (he told me so many things i could do.. but i just can't seem to get them done) and he didn't like me whining to him, he so desperate wants me to get a grip of myself and not always going to him whining to him... so that's why i didn't say anything to him bout the shit i was going through...

so instead, he was telling about some family problem which some how effects me indirectly and i started to over analyze and panic... i said to myself that maybe when the time comes, things will be different from what is expected now? with that i managed to sleep....

got up sunday...was feeling ok.... dad was around.. talking abit while cleaning his bicycle.. had nasi kandar...watched some tv.... and time came when i was supposed to go fetch mum from a talk in Penang....

went to fetch her... i dragged her to Pranging Mall... didn't want to go back to that house yet.... we walked around.. shopping for accesories for the coming wedding of my other cousin; Laura. had good dinner (i brought her to Wong Kok) and by the time she sent me back to that house.. it was 8.30pm.. ok then can't complain.. at least i got my streamyx to hang out with.... sigh...

so here i am, Monday, gonna try to drag myself out from this chair and get to college and try to get some things done for my thesis... sigh.... i hope my "source" will be online....

am i feeling better? well.. so so... but i can say that i'm trying to not "go there"...

a day out alone

with RM25 bucks in your purse...

well..got the car from mum yesterday... didn't go out though, but went to have ice-kacang at Swatow Lane with Anna.. can't believe i did that... sigh...

so in conclusion in going out alone today, u have RM5 left in your purse....

after lunch i decided to get out away from the house.. can't stand it anymore! been staying home too long.... so got in the car and headed to Gurney Plaza... i got to get my cousin's birthday gift... maybe watch a movie.....

so.. got the gift = RM10 (which i think isn't enough.. might get another one when i get more pocket money), saw a movie = RM5(using my student card) and McD's =RM5... easily RM20 is gone.. just like that.... sigh.... nowadays RM10 isn't enough...

am NOT satisfied...

in college now... wondering if i should stay out or not... hmm.. i could go back for dinner and come out again but where would i go? hmm..... it's depressing when u don't have anyone to hang out with... sigh.... this is the time i wished i had siblings...but then even if i had, they would be busy with their own lives and their own friends.... so i'll be back to square one... i'm pathetic aren't i?

anyway, will be going home tomorrow... there's nothing for me here... so my as well just go home....

semi-new look on my blog!

wow... there's so much that can be done to ones blog!! hahaha...what i've done here is all i know how to do.. more than that it's all advanced for me...

what i like about some stuff i put here is the clock!! isn't that awsome? and what about the countdown thingy right at the bottom?? cool ain't it?? i couldn't fit that in the side bar cause it's longish... so have to either put it on top or at the bottom... so i thought i'd be better being at the bottom... well from now onwards scroll down to see what i'm counting down for, ok?

was surfing abit for those stuff i found.. some was too much work (i guess for advanced webbies) and others were ok...

better stop doing all this.. have been wasting one whole day doing this.. *guilty* ... better go sleep now....

learnt afew stuffs..

was browsing aroung people's blog and thought maybe i should put a tagboard and a hit-counter...so searching around for it and managed to learn how to puts those stuff on me blog... quite happy with it though.. hehehe now itchy to put somemore stuff on it.. maybe a background or something?? well i'm not so good in html or web codes.. heck! i can't even write/build my own website!!!

college was ok.. had no mood to do anything... found out some stuff though.. but had problems to those solutions, so need to ask questions on those problems to get a solution to those problems... eh? nevermind.. oh well....

when i came home.. found out that tomorrow is a holiday!!!! yeay!! wonder if college is closed tomorrow.. hope it will!!!! hehehehe...... love holidays!!!

my cousin, blur dugong's birthday is coming.. 1st of May.. yes!! Labour Day!! so lucky.. everytime her birthday comes, it's a holiday!!! hmmm.. wonder what to get her.... hmm... got no $$.. how ah?

i smellll... R A I N.. OMG OMG OMG!!! it's the R A I N!!! it just started to drizzle..hope it'll just pours!!!! pour and pour and pour like nobody'a business!!! it's like so freaking hot!!!! i just love that smell of the first few minutes of rain touching the ground.... it gives me that lovely feeling!!!

now i wished my baby was with me.... sigh......

mum sms-ed me and said that she'll leave the car with me tomorrow... WOOHOOO!!! yeay!!!!!!!! good!!! now i can leave this house!!! kinda getting sick staying here and can't get out!!!!

common.... rain... heavier!!!!!!

young love and a long day.....

Sunday was a day of young love... not mine but a very good friend...

i met her having a nice nap at home... we went for dinner and instead of "window shopping" we ended up just sitting at our table with our finished dinner plates talking about her young love.... her love where she didn't want to tell him how she felt and knowing she won't see him ever again after a month...

i could see in her eyes and how she talked about him.. her observations on him.... it was how i used to be last time before i knew anything about a serious relationship... i'm glad for her to have those feelings.. for me, i think she should seriously tell him how she feels.... she has nothing to loose, yes she may get hurt if he says no, but that is temporary and i know she'll get over it and go forward in life, but if he says yes?? isn't that a good thing? if he says yes, she'll definately see him again even after she has left her Uni.... i leave it up to her and i support her decision.. but deep down i really hope she'll tell him....

and yesterday, Monday... it was the longest i stayed in college....

came back to Penang with mum, after lunch we didn't go anywhere so she dropped me off at college.. that was like 3+pm !! and i stayed there till 8.30pm or so.... cause my supervisor wanted to see me at night.. that's why i was there for so long... was hungry half way through.. luckily i had some buns with me.. :)

had a chat with my cousin in KL... and was talking about relationships and things to think about before taking the next step - marriage and about religion if your other half has a different religion and things like that... it was interesting... and it made me think... glad to have that talk....

today, have to go to college to see someone about getting somemore hardware for my network... sigh.. and this person cannot stay at his office.. have to be around campus.... so since i can't get him on the phone.. i got to go hunting for him... hmm......

what a weird day...

and an irritating day too!!

was supposed to go meet my principle in the morning.. got up at 9am called the college, they said he wasn't there yet and they don't know when he's coming in... went back to sleep, at 10am i got up again and called, this time his secretary said he'll be in at 11am and will make an appointment for me at 11.30am.. so i thought, good i could sleep somemore...

but the shitty thing is that there were birds chirping weird weird noises (very irritating ones) not even nice birdy chirping sounds.. it was more of some machine roaring!! shit man!! and to know it was a BIRD that's making those sounds!! couldn't sleep... not only those damn birds, there were chickenS crowing (note the 'S'-not one but 2 of em) like they were in a symphony orchestra!!! and then i hear a goose!!! shit man!! where did these animals come from!!!! that's not enough, the neighbours KIDS were outside playing and immitating the sounds!!!!!! not one but TWO kids!!!! and all this started from 10am!!!! and i only had about 4 hours sleep cause i came back late last night about 3 am or so.... DAMN!!!! shitty start of the day....

went to college.. not to say had made it for the appointment, the principle didn't, he didn't even come yet and my appointment was moved to 12.30pm!! SHIT!! i'm like dead sleepy and was rushing to meet him at 11.30am and now u want me to wait for another hour?? sheesh!!!!

so i had to... went to the lab (unwillingly) to surf abit.. and here comes my supervisor!! shit!! i didn't want to see her!!! and she wanted to see my network!! not that i'm hiding stuff but i wasn't prepared to see her and i didn't bring my books and notes!!!!! damn!!! we wanted to get into the lab that i worked in but it was locked!! thanked my lucky stars.... so in the end she discussed with me about what to write in my 1st and 2nd chapter and stuff like that....

she asked me what was my plans after the thesis, she knew i was going to find a job.. i told her i wanted to work in Penang, get some cash after a few months and leave this place and maybe go to KL or something... but she didn't listen...she just said that there is this new company it runs/research/provides ipv6 (in Penang) and her PHD supervisor is the director of that company.. it seems it's the only ipv6 company in Malaysia.... so she said she can get me a job there... shit man.. if this actually happens.. i will be stuck in PENANG!!!!! aarrgghhh... it's not like i hate this place or what, it's just that i want to be independant, experience other places, live on my own ELSEWHERE!!!!!!!!! sigh...... but i'm not thinking about that yet.... my heads just purely on my thesis....

heck.. i'm not even bothered if my baby calls!!! he haven't in a few days anyway... i do miss lots though... sigh.....

last night i decided to go out with Melissa (Aaron's sister) and we went to catch "The Pacifier"... damn nice man!!!! i love Vin Diesal in there!!! shit i wanna watch it again!!!... then we went to Tari Cafe sat and ate till bout 2 something am.... and by the time i got back it was 3am... it was nice being out with someone!!!

so now... gonna get ready to head home.. dad's waiting for me.. will be going to church this evening.... i need a good night's sleep tonight... no freaking noise man!!!!!

will be back Monday.....

I LOVE YOU baby!!!!!!

ooo... the weekend!

it's friday!!!

woke up to messages coming from my supervisor.. she's asking me to see the co-ordinator and the principle... sigh... but it's sooo hot outside!! and i got up all soaked with sweat... hmm....

mum called, she said she's coming to fetch me and leave the car with me!! yeay!!!! she's going to Sungai Petani (SP) so i'll have the car with me for the weekend!!

so managed to get to college early... 3.45pm man!!! hahahhaha... even the lab guy noticed i was early today!! ;) wanted to meet the principle... aiseh man.. got to speak to his secretary, make appointment... leave my number (cause it seems he's busy...) sheesh!! it's not like he's some CEO or something.. he's just a PRINCIPLE in a college!!!!!! the funny part is that i haven't seen him before.. i don't know how he looks like!! hahahah....

might go back home tonight.. or tomorrow... not too sure.. maybe i'll go get a movie or something? hmm.......

*think* *think* *think*........

yeay!!!! broadband!!

got it! got it! got it! see my lil new baby!! sweet!!


ADSL modem

yesterday the guy who was supposed to bring the modem and stuff at 2pm... i waited till 3pm and called them up (luckily the number was still in my hp) then the guy checked and said my installation was scheduled for tomorrow (today) but then i told him that i made arrangements with them for wed!!! he said he'll get a guy to come as soon as possible....

so at 4pm, the guy came... saw him make the installation... and damn!!! i wasted RM50 for a 5 minute job!!?? i could have done it myself man!!! sheesh.... so anyway, got my STREAMYX!!!! it's like sooo fast!! and it doesn't disconnect (so far so good)...

started to download some songs and trying abit with movies.. managed to find The Virgin Suicides.. i hope it's the movie i'm downloading and not something else!! heheh... been searching on what to use, Bittorrent, Morpheus, Emule, Ares.... still looking...

so i went to college yesterday (quite late - playing with my new toy!!) and managed to get hold of my 'source', Darryl, to help me through in setting up Postfix for my email server... we got that done on the server side and now, today, got to go to college to do the clients side...

writing this at home... will go to college soon...

sigh.... miss my baby....

very hot!!

got up to a hot day!! was sweating like nobody's business!!

was telling myself to clean the room abit so that when the guy comes to install Streamyx, the room won't look so 'nasty'!!! but then again the laziness got to me... guess i got to do it tonight....

gonna get my broadband tomorrow!!! yeay!! yeay!!! can't wait!!!! wooohooooo!!!!!!

was reading my fellow ah ma dugong's blog, she's going to Melaka!! for a Baba and Nyonya wedding!! how nice!! i haven't been to one and wonder if it's the same as our weddings here.... guess the difference is that the food is very much better!! i'm sure ah kong dugong will be busy drinking with his cousins and buddies... i think it's his cousins wedding....

how i wished i was on holiday!

met my 'source' (someone who helped and is helping me for my thesis) online in Yahoo Messenger... and he sounds like an ok guy, maybe abit nerdy (he has a whole complicated network at home) and doesn't really do anything other than stay at home researching on network.. was supposed to meet him online again when i'm in college to get my email server done but he's not online... hmm... guess he's having dinner or something...

was talking to my baby last night, looks like things are gonna get back to normal.. he's gonna get soo busy till i can't even call him, cause he would be too busy to answer my calls.. sigh.... :( he said he'll be back for Labour Day, not sure if he'll be free in the first place. he has some convention going on in Penang where his mum, sis and bro will be attending too... so even if he DOES come down, he'll be with them... hmm.. maybe i can join them or something.... at least i get to see him!

hmm... i really envy those people who have their boyfriends/girlfriends staying in the same state or even staying a 10 minutes drive away from them... they can see each other everyday, be together in everything... sigh... and can even just stay home together watching tv... sigh... really envy them... here i am counting the weeks, the days, the hours till my baby comes back to see me again, it's so heart wrenching and it hurts at times... its like u see a couple (or know couples) who are with each other all the time and knowing that u too can be like them but u can't, because your other half is either 1 hour away, 4 hours away or just another country away... it's sad man... really sad....

being in a so-called long distance relationship for 4 years... it's getting very tiring... the first or second year, it's ok... the energy is there, the motivation is there, able to hold-in and wait... but for 4 years.... it gets tiring, it gets irritating and it gets sad... yes i know when the time comes when you are together u have great fun, the love is strong and the pressure is off.. but how long will it last? it'll last as long as when u're together but when u be apart again, it starts all over again.... and the cycle goes on and on... its hard, its really hard...

gosh.. i really miss my baby....

got some pics back...

managed to ask my cousin (Simon) to send the Melaka pics we took when we went to Melaka with The Dugongs and with ah kong's aikido friends...

can't wait for Simon to come back to Penang from Australia... :)


my baby and me - Chicken Rice Ball shop


cousins - Simon, Cheryl and me @ Chicken Rice Ball shop

hope he'll send the rest of the pictures...

the weekend....

what a week!!

i feel that there's so much things to say but also at the same time there's nothing much to say... hehehe....

Saturday...

got up to a bad start... my baby was ignoring me abit.. i guess cause today he'll be going back to KL.. will try to stay calm about it...

mum gave us the car and we went to have lunch at Pulau Tikus. then we headed to Bukit Jambul to get some receipt for my dad from the computer shop where i got my new computer from.... wanted to watch a movie but there wasn't any good ones to watch...

then we headed back to Chai Leng Park (mainland) for my baby to catch the bus back to KL.. sigh... soo sad... feel like crying.. i know i shouldn't cause 1-he'll be back soon and 2-i'm not a baby!!

managed to get back home in time to get changed for church.. and went to church with dad... and later went for banana leaf rice!!! yum yum!!!

Sunday...

stayed home whole day, got up late cause had nice air-con going.. heheheh.. miss sleeping in an air-con room...

dad went cycling again early morning to Kedah (i think - cause he brought the car along).... he came back only after lunch time... then after his nap, he got up and went cycling again in the evening..!!! gosh!!!! he complains that he's soo tired, hungry and all that but then still want to go cycling again.. twice in a day!!!!!!

when he came back, he was soo hungry, he wanted to go to Sunway Hotel for buffet.. i was kinda shocked!! he never suggest going to a place like that for dinner unless someone else is paying... anyway.. i thought maybe he just want to pamper himself (and me!! hehehe)... we went there and there was no buffet.. so since we already parked at the hotel car park (RM3 u know!!!) we decided to eat there - ala carte. didn't have much on the menu... mostly malay food... steak only like 4 types.. there's no fish (fish and chips even...) and no chicken (chicken chop...) all they had was like fried mee... or like chicken rice... rendang rice.. or something like that... so..hmm.. yea.... dad had fried rice and i had rendang rice.. surprisingly it was nice and that it wasn't too hot...

we came back home so full!!! hehehe...

today..

met mum for lunch.. we went to OG again.. this time tried the sweet-n-sour chicken and sambal kang-kung.. also had fried spring rolls... yum yum.. was telling mum, how come we never did come to eat here when i was small... guess she didn't know bout this place until recently only...

went to Clickers to hand in the documents for my Streamyx account, the guy from Telekom has called and i told him to come over on Wednesday to install the modem and stuff.. why wed? well i got to clean my room and the computer table!!!!!!!! hahahahaha... i can't let some guy stranger into my room and letting him see how messy it is!!! so yea.. i got tomorrow to clean and by Wednesday, 2pm.. i shall have my streamyx!! WOOHOOO!!!!!

hmm.. in college now, found out that Streamyx has suspended the college broadband service!!! OMG!!! cause there's too much virus going to KL... the guy said hundreds of em... so now they'll have to reformat all the pcs here in college and change the ips....hope they won't mess with my FreeBSD...sigh... so i guess i can't do anything today!! heheheh....

the pope - may he rest in peace

my baby and i were lazing around the house when the Pope's funeral was on CNN... thought i wouldn't be interested to watch, but since Anna was watching i just sat with her and watched it...

the funeral was soo nice!! everyone was quiet.. there was sooo many people and seeing the politicians from all over the world coming in peace to one place was quite impressive... of course we managed to spot Bush.. but the others, couldn't quite see.. didn't see Prince Charles also.. hmm.... (guess he was preparing his wedding the next day!! hehe)

there was sooo many (hundreds) of cardinals, bishops, priests.. from the Vatican and also from around the world... wonder if there was any priests from Malaysia who went.. hmm..... the Mass was in Latin.. and the choir!! oh man!!! sounded like the angles were singing from Heaven!!! so nice!!! so beautiful...

we watched the whole thing till the end and that was 3 hours!!!!!! and it was raining the whole time!!!!!

my baby wanted to get out from the house, so we decided to go to town... took the bus to Prangin mall... got some CDs... and watched SAMARA.. oooo scary.. i didn't want to watch but my baby insisted.. hahahh.. only had a few scary scenes.... and i felt that some were a copy from Ju On....

movie ended bout 11.30pm and had to take the cab back.. but then i thought.. since we were to take the cab back, why not stay a little longer? so we walked all the way from Prangin Mall to Upper Penang Road.... wanted to do abit of clubbing at Soho's but my baby didn't feel like it, so we just sat at a mamak and chit chatted till 2am....

was feeling sleepy and we got the cab back... of course there were so many cabs and taxi-sapu (pirated cabs) but managed to get one back home for RM12....

it was a lovely night.. walking down the street hand in hand with my baby, taking our own sweet time, the night was cooling and not stuffy... feeling like there's nothing else in the world other than us.... sigh... wished he could stay longer.. but i know he can't.... sigh....

it was a night that all u can do is to cherish it, remember it and know that there's always something nice even when u feel like shit and lonely most of the time....

wonderful few days....

it's been quite a few days i had....

Wednesday...

met mum for lunch.. she brought us to OG (Ocean Green) it's a chinese place at the Northam Beach (opposite Northam Hotel - next to Fever).. food there was good but was still full and was not feeling too well at the stomach... might go there again to eat when i get the chance...

then went to do abit of shopping.... and i asked mum to drop my baby and i at Prangin Mall... we got there and watched 'Be Cool' since my baby didn't watch it yet... he enjoyed it.... later it was nearly dinner time and thought we get a bite before we head home.. but before that we got a dvd 'Hide and Seek'

waited for the bus home for soooo long.. it started to rain too!!.. i was hoping it wouldn't rain till we got home... we managed to get the bus and luckily when we reached home it still didn't rain... good good....

when i got home, my tummy pain was unbearable.. i got a bath and went to sleep.. that was 9pm!!!! my baby tried to wake me up for supper but i couldn't, i continued to sleep till the next day 11am!!! hahahhahaha..... slept sooo long!!!

Thursday...

spend the day at home with my baby... he said he would be going home today.. but so far no sound about it...we watched 'Hide and Seek' in the afternoon..

the president of SEFA called and said that i needed to help them search for the specifications of how one could be a patron at an alumni... so looks like i got to do some surfing in college to find out from the other alumnis on how they choose for a patron... i didn't know that an alumni needed a patron also... hmm.....

then later he followed me to college today and helped me do some surfing.. then we went to have abit of a munch at So Young.. yes! it's the name of the coffee shop!! hahaha... then we thought of catching a movie so got Miss Congeniality 2 at the nearby VCD peddler...

today...

got up didn't do much today... was home... looking at the clouds.. wondering if it's gonna rain or not... hmmm..... clouds getting dark.... hmm.....

my baby decided to go back tomorrow... yippie!!!!! :) got one more day to spend with him... :)

me and my baby..

nice....

woke up early today (i seldom do that), had breakfast and went out with my baby...

first we went to Bukit Bendera... yea we went there 2 months ago for our 4th year anniversary but we kinda liked it up there (cause it's cooling) so we went up there again... for a short while only...then we went to watch a movie, Hitch, at GSC... that's what we usually do on our dates... nice movie.. i kinda enjoyed it! :)...had some 'tea' after that.... what i meant was cake and water for tea... heheheh.. we had it at La Manila's at Gurney Plaza...

and now in college... had to come to show my face and to get somethings done....

will be going out for dinner.. but dunno where yet... hmm.... *thinking*....

:)

OMG! OMG! OMG!

! ! ! ! ! *stunned* ! ! ! ! !

i just met with my supervisor.. she accepted my proposal.. phew.... but..... the terror begins..!!!

she so called 'bribed' me into writing a paper for a National IPv6 Conference coming soon to Malaysia...the paper should be about my thesis and if the conference accepts it, she'll be giving me an 'A' for my thesis!!!

like i said.... OMG! OMG! OMG!.......

aaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!

i don't know what to do!!! i can't write a paper like that?! i can't do that!!!! i mean, it's for smarty pants!!! for geeks and nerds!!! and i'm not one of them!!! and i'm bearly through my thesis and also don't really understand what i'm actually doing for my thesis!! and she wants me to write for a conference??!!! must be mad!!!!!

what am i to do?!! i can't say no... she didn't even ask if i could do it.. she just said "I want you to write a paper for a National Conference that will be held"... damn!!!!!!

oh NO....!!!!!!!

i'm like shivering right now... just thinking bout it.... ggrrr......

:)

my baby is back!!!! :)

Saturday

the BBQ was good, saw the dugongs.. it's been a while since i met them... was talking, crapping, gossiping, drinking.... (i only had a bit)....

there was chicken, sausages, burger pattes, beer and mango juice (for those who can't drink....) then one of us said.. 'hey.. how bout marinating the burger pattes with beer???' so that's what we did... we poured some beer on a plate, just enough to cover the burger pattes... waited for 5 to 10 minutes.. and put it on the BBQ.... waalaah..... it tasted abit different though.. but once u finished eating it, u could taste the beer in your mouth!!

Sunday

found out that our Pope John Paul II has passed away... may he rest in Peace... AMEN...

had lunch with mum (went to Francis') and had soo much too eat!!! cause we had complimentary soups!!! and the salad thought it was for one person but it came out to be a meal by itself!!! gosh... ate and ate and ate.... then after that mum was craving for Baskin and Robbins ice cream... eat somemore!!!! muahahahahhaha

couldn't stand it but i came back after that and slept!!! got up at about 5 something and soon my baby reached at 7 something and went to fetch him... surprisingly i was still full eventhough it was dinner time... hheheheh...

manage to catch the PC Fair at PISA before they closed at 9pm... managed to find Kingston thumbdrive 256K for RM82, Kingston thumbdrive 128K for RM53 and a CD-ROM for RM48.... it was chaos in there.. everything was cheap.. buy one webcam and get a keyboard for free.... CD-R was RM100 for 300 pieces, can u believe that!!! and so many other things!!!!

i managed to register for Streamyx... RM66 package, just have to pay RM50 when the guy comes to fix it up, modem is free and i got free 2 movie tickets at GSC, then for 3 months i just need to pay RM50 for my bill... i thought it was a good deal...

so it was a good night, my baby's back, got my thumbdrive back, got streamyx and had good food..... :)

Today

will be going to college to see my supervisor... hope things will be ok..... kinda worried... i always get worried when i see her... sigh....

the weekend....

didn't go back this weekend... cause my baby said that he'll come tomorrow... I HOPE SO!!!!

didn't feel well today... got up late, ate a lil and watched tv.. and there's nothing interesting on tv!!!gosh it's a saturday and there's nothing interesting on tv!!! i guess they want people to go out on the weekends....

got an interesting sms just now, ah kong dugong asking me if i can make it or not... i was like... uhh??? make it for what?? then i replied asking what?? and he said that he's having a BBQ... so.. oooohhhhh!!! hahhahaha.... so i guess i won't be lonely tonight... will be going for his BBQ... :) haven't eaten BBQ food for such a long time!!!..... shall see if i can cook up my magic BBQ or not (if the ingredients are there...)

mum told me that she'll bring me to church tomorrow and will leave the car with me... woohooo!!! that means i'll be free tonight (can go for the BBQ) and have the car when my baby is down.... wonder what time bus will he be taking.. sigh.... so hard to get intouch with him...

i don't know but the weather is really getting weird.. here now it's raining outside... drizzle..drizzle... and windy too... but then... it's hot in the house!!! and right now typing this i'm sweating?!!! i guess it's how the house is... not cooling.... sigh... old house.. what to do.... 30-40 over years....

sigh... wonder how will the BBQ will be like tonight.... can't wait!!! haven't seen those dugongs for so long! :)

APRIL fools!!!

hhhhahhaha..... no one fooled me today!!!!

hehehe... thought of fooling someone but no one was around... anyway, i did sort of fooled someone.. our ah kong dugong.. well i was reloading my cousin's handphone (he's in Australia) so that it's still in use when he comes back to Penang in May... so when i reloaded it i send an sms to ah kong... but of course i told him that it was me!!! no sound from him, so don't know if he got it or not....

not feeling too well today, that 'time' of the month... hate it when it happens... thought i can skip going to college today, but my supervisor had to see me so i HAD to go to college... in the RAIN somemore!!!!!! sigh..... what else can go wrong man!!!

last night was nice... i had company.. was chatting away till midnite... haven't had friends over for a long long time and also haven't hung out with friends for a long long time....

didn't talk to my baby last night... he sms saying that he had a long day and was tired... sigh.. really do hope that he comes tomorrow... or sunday.... really miss him... he's the only one i can count on for emotional support and at moments of lonelyness.. i really need him.. sigh...

reading my friends blog... she writes about all her baking (with photos!!!) and dinner parties she cooked... yum...!!!! making me hungry for good food man!!!! thinking now... where shall i bring my baby to eat when he comes... shall bring him to Francis' (western food), steamboat BBQ, ahhh.... hi-tea!, eerr..... Pulau Jerejak (buffet lunch)..... Gurney Drive (junk hawker food - Muachee!!!!eeee getting excited) and and... Sri Ananda Bahwan (BANANA LEAF!!!!!!!) and maybe if i go back home i shall make my RICH CHOCOLATE CAKE!!!! hope this time it'll turn out nice.... yumm...... i'm getting HUNGRY and drooling by just thinking about all that...!! hahahhha

i think on my way back i shall get some snacks from the coffee shop.... it's fishy day today....

i miss my baby....