my pic for DASHBOARD

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Esther Reutens - First Solo Art Exhibition

ESTHER REUTENS will be having

her first solo art exhibition at

Ghara Seni Tanjung Art Gallery

from 3rd - 30th June 2007

Be there to see (and BUY) her art!!

(see map)

random-ing

had to do a quick dash back home because of some shitty thingy happened 2 years ago... i thought everything would be settled but i guess not, knowing how the system works in this country... thank God that nothing bad has happened and that i was not "needed" to settle this issue... i hope this won't come up again after 2 years... sigh....

was surprised at myself that i went home and came back to kl in 24 hrs... i'm damn tired now, just hope i won't get sick... this trip down was a bit different as i saw him for the first time since it happened, i was quite nervous at first but because we had a very long history i became very comfortable after a few minutes having him in the car and having his presence there... i was glad to have seen him again....

bearly had time to chat with mum and dad... but what to do... the trip was an "emergency"... but managed to get some formal things done... as in the first step in getting my most important baby... a baby that i've been waiting for for soooo freaking long! and in one months time, the baby will be mine!!! can't wait!!!

work has been in a roller coaster, performance not doing too good, just hope to buck up soon.. don't want my boss to regret confirming me to the team... maybe i need a break uh? hahhahah.... nah.. don't think so... maybe just some time to myself without the strain of time... though i do miss the sea and sun and a swim... :)

cannot rely on the pool here where i'm staying because the pool is "out of order" since... a few months ago... hahaha.. i only swam in it once... but it's different swimming in an apartment pool compared to swimming in a hotel pool or in the sea by the beach...

i dunno but it's like i miss the country, the beach the sea and yet i love city life... i guess when the saying "humans can never be satisfied" is true... when u got something, u wish u had something else, and when u get that, u wish for the previous...

was wondering to my readers out there... anyone knows of a good FREE (download online) antivirus software? the one i don't need to pay after 30 days or something like that.... not Norton, not Macafee, not PC cillin...... cause my new lappy still doesn't have a good anti-virus except for the Windows Defender that came with Vista...

oh.... and i can't seem to download different types of files from the internet - error message "....some security settings are preventing you from downloading this file..." it's like wtf wei! i've checked everything i can think of and i still can't download it.... i think the culprit is Vista.... damn it.... sigh....

u know what i'm craving? a good bowl of Baskin&Robbins ice cream, with a good piece of rich moist choc cake and a good piece of Victoria Station steak (or maybe Chillies!!).... sigh....

1U with the gang

so my cher, ed, ed's nephew and lil rosie finally came down and i met up with them for half a day.... met up at 1U and they were shopping, followed them, wanted to get a few stuffs for myself, but couldn't find any, just got a pair of pants...

anyway, we went to have lunch at Italiannis.... first time going there with them.... had a blast! rosie and i had shrimp linguinie, the rest had carbonara and lasagne.... and they were wonderful!!! and as for desert, we had creme brule!! OMG!!! i agree with ed... feels like heaven!! hahahah.... must go back there again for that and also, i'm itching to try their pizza.... hmm....

after makan.... shop somemore!!! man this ppl can shop and surprisingly, it's not THAT stressfull going shopping with them... oh oh oh and i found my shop, Dorothy Perkins.... their selection is quite good, though they may not have my sizes.... i did try a skirt... and surprisingly i could fit the size 18 that they have! and some parts were loose!! i did try the size 16 and it did fit, though it was abit tight some places... but hey!! i can fit a size 16!!! hehehe.. unfortunately only for skirts la... not with pants.... couldn't fit in size 18 pants... bum too big hahahah

it was the second time i met ed's cousin... i think his name was eliza/elija... not too sure.... quite cute looking but abit shy la... hehehe i guess it's because we are all new friends to him... but it was good to see a new face in the group... :)

we did take some pics but it's all in rosies pics... so now... have to be patient for her pics... hahah i still didn't get my karaikudi pics!!! :P hhahahahh so nice to see them again... i felt i was at home hanging with them, but in fact, we were in KL.... sigh... really miss them...

ask, answer, receive

.... was basically what it all meant in a talk i went today. to achieve your goal (whatever goal in life) u got to ASK.... and when you ask, your questions will be ANSWERED ... and u must be ready to RECEIVE that answer....

when u ASK.... it doesn't mean that u will get the answer that u want... and whatever ANSWER you get u must be ready to RECEIVE it... be it the answer you want or the answer you don't want... the trick is to know what the ANSWER is so that u can RECEIVE it graciously AND then only u will achieve your goals...

it was also said that BELIEFS are not universally true.... BELIEFS can be changed and you change it so that u can reach your goals...

also, u have to know WHO you are and WHAT you want... because if you don't know what you want, how on earth would someone else KNOW what you want!!!

so the bottom line is....

KNOW what you want, be CONFIDENT that that is what you want, ASK for it and LISTEN to the ANSWERS.... be ready to RECEIVE those answers and your goals will just come to you....

fuuhh... what an eventful and emotional sunday.... very informative and it told me so much i didn't know about myself...

thanks Shamini...

random thoughts

we had a crazy idea last night, some how the both of us had the same thought of having some thani after dinner... so on our way back, we got some ice-cream soda to make our own lil cocktails with absolute vanilla... though i do like the taste of vanilla, but it's abit hard to make concoctions with vanilla... oh well, in the end the 3 grown ups in the hse had thani! hahaha... i thought with one drink it would make me sleep better but unfortunately, it kept me awake!! why? i dunno ler... some how i was tossing and turning in bed for at least a good one hour... thinking about what also i dunno... i mean i do know what but why, i don't know..

was thinking of going back home this weekend so that i can make my booking and just spend some time at home and some good friends but something came up, i got an invite to go to talk/course thingy, which i hope will help me in getting back in the game... it's RM88 ... sigh... still thinking about it, well, it will be given by a professional though.... and also heard rosie and couzzy will be coming down to kl for ed's car... so.... to stay or go back? if i don't go back this weekend, i will only go back the weekend after next...

had a lil meeting today at work, looks like there's alot to be done... there's the COPC and some methology analising thingy at work.... it's good that the dept is moving somewhere... somewhere good and not so stagnant... hahahah no wonder my boss told me not to be "stagnant"... heheeh.... am actually proud of my dept and happy that i'm one of them.... though at times i feel routine with the everyday calls but it's all good... for what i'm getting and how i am here in kl, so far so good and i couldn't be more greatful than i am now...

ppl say that it's good to have friends in quantity but it's better to have friends in quality... i know i do have quality friends but what if it all changes in time? do u try your ever best to keep that so called flame burning or do u just leave it as it is and just make do with the other casual friends that u have?

i've been missing her quite alot... i'm trying to keep in touch but i guess she's busy - i think... i wouldn't know... we haven't been talking and i don't know her updates.. i don't know if she needed an ear, if she needed someone to talk to, if she needed to complain to, if she needed someone to just listen to her or just someone to have a drink with.... i want to be there for her.... but..... i dunno.... i don't really want us to drift apart because i really love her and i don't know how i'll do knowing she's not in my life anymore...

andre had gotten free tickets to a local movie that's premiering... "I don't want to sleep alone"... don't think it's a sleazy movie... i don't think so... but i have a feeling that this movie is about more that what the title means... u know... it's "deep" hehehhe..... i think i can relate to the title... yes, i don't want to sleep alone... i want to sleep knowing that someone is there, that someone is thinking of me, that someone cares for me and that someone will do anything for me because they love me.... but currently.... "i'm sleeping alone"....

don't fret my dear readers.... i'm generally basically happy now, shimmers is no more the sulky, i'm-all-alone blogger but she's happy girl looking ahead and not behind!... i have a great job, great friends, great family i'm staying with and great friends that keep in touch though i left penang... i'm good to go and i'm looking forward for the future... for what HE has planned for me, and whatever HE throws at me - i WILL take it and make the best of it (though i could do more of guys here *looking up* heheheh....)

CBM Reunion!

Calling all ex-CBM gals !!

There will be a reunion dinner

for all batches of ex-CBM gals and teachers

Here are the details:

Date: 30 June 2007

Time: 6.30 p.m.

Venue: Pearl View Hotel (Perai)

Theme: Black & White

Ticket price: RM 50/adult, RM30/child

Buffet:Spouses and children are also invited

A good time to catch up or network with the CBM family.

For more info,please contact:

1) Salina Lim at 012-4930637> (zelyna@yahoo.com)

Please pass this on to ex-CBMers that you know.

*lets go babes!!!

it's been nearly a month....

*if u pantang looking at funeral pics, i warn u not to continue....

it's been nearly a month since Uncle Philip left us, so fast time flies... have been here in this hse and it feels so different, that he's not here.... usually he'll just make witty comments and just makes me laugh.. sometimes he gives me good advice about life and what it's best to be done at this age of mine... somehow he knew how i felt about things, esp in relationships, work, life experience... sigh.... i will always keep his advice and i know that he's in a better place now...

in the funeral parlour - St Ignatious Church



on the way to the funeral service in a church in PJ (next to Assunta Hospital)


prayers in front of the church


during mass

at the cremetorium.... May you rest in peace Uncle Philip

at another home

so i spent the weekend with my godma with my new lappy with "G604_wireless" and sometimes "tmnet" at a certain spot in the house... i made a plan on what to do with lappy when i get the chance but now we're with G604_wireless and tmnet, we don't know what to do... but in the end, as u can see on this new layout... this was what we did... give a new refresh look for this site... and i LOVE it!!! i just googled blogspot templates and after some clicking, i found this... lovely!

was supposed to go back to gombak tonight, but was just too lazy and i was enjoying my relationship with lappy and the other 2... but the i do need to get to work in the morning.. damn it! why do we need to work??? sigh.....

wanted to go do abit of shopping but i wasn't feeling too well, as how i always feel when it's that time of the month, so, quality time with godma and lappy filled my weekend. today's mother's day.... what did u guys do? me satisfied my craving for pg food with godma, went to Penang Village... too bad didn't bring my camera, they had nice garnishing... i had asam laksa heheheheh quite nice but can say abit too sweet... couldn't really taste the sourness... we had an entre too, 4 types- fish satay (more like otak-otak on a stick- nice), kerabu mango, pandan chic and lobak (halal of course)... oh and for desert - durian cendol! yummers!!! so... tummy is satisfied this weekend... heheheh

next weekend i'm not working and was wondering if my friend is coming over.... i hope there won't be another plan landing on me... sigh... if not, i may come back home to book something.. hehehehehh *wink*.... we'll see ya... we'll see....

so.....

what u think of this new layout? cute uh? hehehhe....

talks

met up with an ex-colleague after work for drinks... it was a good shot meet up catching up on each others work... it was quite some time since we met.. we calculated it was 2 months already... was it that long ago? damn! where did the time go? i mean it was only that day that we were in the office hanging out and laughing at nothing and now, we're meeting up after 2 months! sigh...

being the business that i am right now, u dun really get to be personal or have quality conversation with your colleagues... and when the chance to hang out and get to know more about the other person other than work wise, something will come up and our meeting will be cut short... i hate it when u have such good deep meaningful conversation and u have to cut short because of something and u won't know when u'll have another chance or time to get that chance back... i sometimes seem to have a bad case of timing....

anyway, i just have to make do with whatever quality time i have with my friends... though i do miss my best friend, haven't talked to her or seen her since that incident and i hope our draught is not because that... i did message her, but .... i guess she is busy.. i hope she's just busy and not because of any other reason....

batchelors?

so my friend called up to clear the air about the trip to kl- that wasn't.... it was ok, i said, if u have time to come, come, if not- it's ok, i understand...

is this weekend mother's day? gosh... i haven't had any plans... maybe i shall call dad to do something for me on my behalf.... hmmm...but didn't they go to Mama's for some good nyonya food without me? on my expense somemore? hahahah..... nah... just joking, have to remember to call dad tomorrow...

today, bigshots were supposed to come to the office today, so everyone was supposed to tidy their cubes and wear proper attire... but did they turn up? noooo..... why? because it rained ... like... O_O so tomorrow, we got to wear proper working attire as well... damn... i guess i should be grateful that i don't really need to wear proper working attire- most of the time, so if it's needed this one time, i shall abide to it... :P

got this months CLEO.... and it's the issue of 50 most eligible batchelors.... yea right!!!! looking at those faces... u can see some of them have the looks its because they are models... but the normal average joe- they ARE average joe! hahahhaha was briefly going through their short interview answers, some are lame, some u can say that they're trying and some are so put off.... note: i'm only half way through the list, haven't finished reading all 50 details..

i haven't been buying CLEO for quite sometime and now i've noticed that it has gotten thicker, NOT to say more articles, its more of adverts... sigh.... and half of them are so depressing, all about being skinnier, fairer, clear complextion and being beautiful with make-up... i mean for me, i can't wear makeup when i go to work, because everyday by the time i reach the office, i feel like for another bath because i'm all tired up and prespired to be even comfortable having paint on my face... no hard feelings to those who actually do wear makeup for work, i actually admire u girls because u can do it - i can't (maybe not yet)

alright i better stop complaining, i remember to make this blog a HAPPY one... so, think HAPPY POSTS!!!

sigh, i think i better go sleep la.... heheheh

soft as jelly

feeling like jelly...last night followed carol for yoga... yes, the apartment building came up with some yoga classes.... so ok la, since i don't actually have any "formal" exercise, why not, and also i won't be doing it alone... so i signed up with her and we went... actually this is our 2nd class.... the first class was damn tiring, whole body started to ache and it WAS a workout.... but yesterday was a different kind of pain, it was over stretching pain.... just because i can bend, doesn't mean u can force me to bend... omg the instructor came up to me so many times and pushed my body to bend more in some weird positions!!!!.... and because of that, this is what i feel like - JELLY!

had sometime to chill at the KLCC putra train station, while i was sitting there waiting for time to pass and also waiting for andre, i was ppl watching (though sometimes i felt like knocking off to sleep!! i was still feeling like jelly)... i don't know but i feel that most of the ppl are the same kind, u wear your work clothes, suffer in high heels with heavy laptop bags and trying to be comfortable with the crowd, the wait and the standing.... then u see some who are not from work, who just seemed to be there either for shopping or just having a meet up with friends... i wouldn't know.. then u get a tiny bit of weird characters, weird dressing and "omg!" type of ppl, some with over makeup faces, over dressed ppl, or some just looked like they didn't bathe for 3 days or just got out from bed...

and of course u get to see those ever loving young couples (eugh!) then u see the working couples where one would wait at the station for the other, and when they meet.... sigh... then u have couples who comes to the station together and go back together... so nice la... but it sometimes does make my heart feel that "twang" abit... i understand and i know it's stupid to feel to shitty just because someone else is happy in their relationship or happy in their marriage...

so, there's loads of different and yet (somehow) same type of ppl, i guess it's all ok ... i mean u can't expect everyone to be all pretty and nice looking.. heck! even i wear over sized jeans and sneakers!!! (which reminds me i really need to get a nicely fitting pair of jeans)...

that's what i saw in KLCC train station today, and mind u, i was there for nearly an hr! hahahaha... just imagine how many hundreds of ppl i saw....

what do you think?

tell me what you think of this toy? heheheh

Specs are here:

http://h10010.www1.hp.com/wwpc/my/en/ho/WF06b/1090709-1116637-1123071-1123071-1123071-80083318-80128602.html

*of course need to upgrade RAM and to Vista....

silent phone

couldn't really sleep last night... was just thinking about the day and before i could really enjoy my deep sleep, there was a thunder storm .... it was blowing and blowing for a good hr or more.... i could hear plates/glass falling and breaking, windows cracking, thunder... was just thinking how it was outside, i'm sure lots of ppls clothes must have flew from the rack and into other ppls homes! hahaha.... i'm sure it'll be a mess in the morning... somehow, i fell asleep.... till i couldn't sleep again.. and that was 10.30am!! mind u, i slept around 2 in the morning k!...

i don't know why but i've been looking at my phone to see if anyone would call, i don't know if i'm waiting for a certain someone to call or just ANYONE to call... am i that desparate? hahahha i hope not! i guess it's because i'm free this weekend and i have NO plans what's so ever, so i guess i'm not used to having that...FREE TIME!!!

the family didn't go to church in the morning... which means we'll be going to church in the evening, just hope it won't be hot, like the last time we went... somehow the weather now adays is really fucked up... i mean, middle of the night u get strong winds (who knows there was a "twister" last night in gombak!!O_O) then it's freaking hot during the day, then it gets windy again or even rains... then when night comes, there's dead air, which makes it more stuffy, like last night... while i was waiting for the last train from subang back to KL, 10+pm and there was no breeze what's so ever, i was sweating non-stop!!

the weather, same as my hormones, one minute i'm happy with what i have, then the next, i'm pissed with what also i dunno... PMS? maybe... also, when i DO feel happy- i don't know why!!! hahahahha... weird uh? i guess kl IS treating me ok..... i got to make new good friends at work... i get to "be" introduced to ppl... and i get to meet ppl i haven't met before but have been wanting to for a very long time.... it's different compared to penang... in penang, i KNOW ppl...heheheh... so the chances of meeting NEW ppl... is rare... not to say it's a bad thing, but i guess penang IS my comfort zone.. everyone knows my history and there's no need to explain stuff - because they know.... here, i can choose WHAT to say and WHAT not to say... and i guess that's where friendship begins... because u want to know more about the other person... (i just hope ppl DO want to know more about me...)

now that i'm "out" there, it scares me, i'm so cautious of myself while talking to ppl... what if that person didn't like what i just said, what if that person thinks i'm crazy for laughing so loud (yes- the dugongs KNOW how i can laugh!! heheheh), or what if that person thinks that i'm just an ulu girl that came to the city and trying her best to fit in!.. anyhow, i need to be strong enough for rejection.... i don't think that i'm TRYING to fit in, i'm just trying to find out if this is what i want, that if this place is a place i can live in... i know, i CAN live in penang, i guess i just want to find out if there's other places for me... and maybe that's one of the reasons i came here... who knows, maybe kl is NOT for me? but i wouldn't know if i don't try, right?

1st post on the lappy!

so i'm writing this else where... will post it up when i have internet access... nothing much today, a friend was supposed to come to stay the weekend in kl but a plane landed on me... so had to find plan B to fill my weekend. so i did.... when i was rested enough at home till i became restless, i made plans to meet someone i've been wanting to meet since i was in my last year of college, my guardian angel for my thesis...

a friend sort of found this guys "help" on a website.... so he thought i could use this fellas help.... his website did help me and from there, we were communicating through emails... he would email me instructions and i would email him back the results! what a guide uh? i was/AM really grateful that i met this wonderful fella.... ever since i got my results for my thesis, i've been wanting to meet this guy and thank him personally.... unfortunately he's in kl and at that time i was in penang.... we communicated through email and chat... but somehow stopped communicating when i graduated...

so now that i'm in kl, i figured, i HAVE to meet him... so fortunately his email was still working and we got back in touch again, this time he was willing to meet me, though i have to go see him all the way to subang.... i did that today and it went well.... though we may have different thoughts for things, but he's a smart ass.... he's all so techie... hehehe sometimes i could follow what he was saying and sometimes he just lost me... it's not a bad thing actually, cause i learnt alot from him... i do have similar friends whom i cherish alot esp when it comes to pcs and technical stuff in... so i'm glad that i found another, here in kl (other than my colleagues la...)

he had a laptop from hell but was using another OS, and was showing me what exactly he was doing and how did he help me... what i saw, brought me back memories on the millions of codes that i was working on and his instructions.... it was so familiar when he showed them to me.... at least i have a better idea on what happened on his end....

it was a good evening, we chatted bout mostly techie stuff but i managed to get to know more bout him.... even though i did say thank you personally and gave him a treat, i still feel greatfull to him... i think i'll never stop being grateful to him.... i know to him it's nothing, but without his help all the way through with my thesis, i would not have passed it... if it was not because the train services ended at 11pm, i'm sure we'll still be talking bout broadband, ipv6, networking, wireless, gov, education and life till the next day... but because i depend on the trains to get back... we had to say goodbye.. i do hope to meet up with him again... since i came here to kl, i missed chatting with my techie friends back in pg...heheheh... and now i have found one... :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY couzzy!

me wanna wish my beloved couzzy a vely vely vely....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!

we all know u're one year older today, but what to do lor... everyone goes through it... but what's important that u have a wonderful day, fill your life with laughter and good things... so even when u're 100 years old.... it's still good!!!

wished i could be there in penang to kacau and celebrate with u... but.. so sorry ler..... :(

but i'm sure my homies will do a great job!!!

luv ya!

"all good things comes to cessy..."

that's what he believes for me, in me.... i don't hear this anymore, but it has been embedded in my blain dee.....

well, ONE good thing happen, but unfortunately i have no one special to share this good thing with... yes, i do have my parents, friends and my family here in kl... but u know what i mean lah..... it's like, i'm bursting with joy about this, but it's like, it's no big deal for others, boss and ppl tell me not to "spread" the good news bout this.... but it's like, it's my first and ... sigh... oh well....

i guess i shall celebrate this news on my own.... shall indulge...... heheheh....

so... "all good things comes to cessy..." but it brings more stress to her!!!! :(