Saturday, July 19, 2008

home - is where the heart is

that's what my babe in the UK told me.... she said, "even if pay is lesser than what u can get in kl, home is where the heart is and u won't be crying as much as u do in kl"
yea... that's what i'm feeling now, that i'm no KLite, i can't fit here, ppl here are different and i can't seem to find friends that i can "flow" with me.... everytime i thought i've found someone like that, something screws it up.... i have yet to find that "bond" here... which makes me feel so alone here and makes me miss home more...
cause at home...
- i can look like shit and they dun care on how i look
- i can just be quiet and they would understand
- i can just know NOTHING
- i can just talk nonsense and they dun make remarks about it and make me feel like a freak
- i can laugh out loud like mad and they dun tease me about it, heck they LOVE it when i laugh crazy-ly.. but not the ppl here
- i can go places where i don't need to worry about the distance, petrol and counting my cents
- i don't get ppl giving me unwanted problems
- i will be able to see some specific person more
- i count my cents
- i count my distance
- i have to be up to their "standard"... if not, they won't want to hang out with me
- it's wrong to stay home and do nothing
- it's a must to have something new, all the time
- must know the latest happenings.. if not, u're not in
- i must "impress"
.... i want to blame all this depression on pms but i don't want to, i'm just gonna look forward for the dinner on monday, then look forward in sun bathing by the beach at the end of the week, awaiting for my penang food during my weekend, seeing TC and getting ready to move to my new place at the end of the month... AND hopefully by aug, i'll start anew .... again

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