taking a breather

i'm going for a short holiday, will be back with loads of pics...

i need this break, i need the sun, sand and sea before starting anew...

i'm NOT the organiser

why are YOU being mad at me when you're not invited to the party? i'm NOT even the organiser!!!

i know it's shocking to see ppl who have already left the company attend the drinking session and all that but there was nothing i could do as i was NOT the one who invited him. so don't get angry at me on why HE was able to come and not u.

i asked them if we could invite you for the party a couple of weeks ago and they said no... so, if you want answers on why it's unfair, ask the ORGANISER!! i had NO bloody say in it!

the department's down the drain and i still need to be the jaga... tell me now, is THAT fair to me?

home - is where the heart is

that's what my babe in the UK told me.... she said, "even if pay is lesser than what u can get in kl, home is where the heart is and u won't be crying as much as u do in kl"

yea... that's what i'm feeling now, that i'm no KLite, i can't fit here, ppl here are different and i can't seem to find friends that i can "flow" with me.... everytime i thought i've found someone like that, something screws it up.... i have yet to find that "bond" here... which makes me feel so alone here and makes me miss home more...

cause at home...

- i can look like shit and they dun care on how i look

- i can just be quiet and they would understand

- i can just know NOTHING

- i can just talk nonsense and they dun make remarks about it and make me feel like a freak

- i can laugh out loud like mad and they dun tease me about it, heck they LOVE it when i laugh crazy-ly.. but not the ppl here

- i can go places where i don't need to worry about the distance, petrol and counting my cents

- i don't get ppl giving me unwanted problems

- i will be able to see some specific person more

here....

- i count my cents

- i count my distance

- i have to be up to their "standard"... if not, they won't want to hang out with me

- it's wrong to stay home and do nothing

- it's a must to have something new, all the time

- must know the latest happenings.. if not, u're not in

- i must "impress"

.... i want to blame all this depression on pms but i don't want to, i'm just gonna look forward for the dinner on monday, then look forward in sun bathing by the beach at the end of the week, awaiting for my penang food during my weekend, seeing TC and getting ready to move to my new place at the end of the month... AND hopefully by aug, i'll start anew .... again

"My Verse"

Why then should one ask,
Is blessed time insidious so?
I do not know to who I cast
"Capre Diem", shouted all in contralto.

Bis vivit qui bene vivit*
Now why would one contrive to shove it?
My prayers for those who quiver,
Be it, I'm done twice over!

*He lives twice who lives well


Makes one feel good writing in verse; More fun in the long run, if you ask me.
Interprete as you will, or reply using the same genre.

God bless and regards.
Terry Reutens
terryreutens@yahoo.com

sad countdown...

sigh... its only a few more days and we'll be going on our own separate ways...

sad really....

check it out here

light at the end of the tunnel?

as u have read, my dept is closing down and we are all found jobs in another dept in the same company, so it's either we take it or leave and find other jobs else where...

because of this bad news, i took it very badly... i felt very insecure especially on where i'll be going.. i was given a place in another dept, but it's not what i wanted... i guess there's nothing much this company can do for me as i've had enough in being in a call-centre...

fortunately after lots of crying, complaining to my loved ones and being so down on myself, i finally found a place - elsewhere... it's a totally new direction, new line of business and it seems interesting.. i'm 60% there (still need to do company health check-up), but i've also had a call for an interview elsewhere - this time, it's a position back home in penang.. so i'm kinda excited bout that... wanna see what's that about, if it looks good, very good, i'll come home! :D why not right?

(about staying back in KL, no probs, i'm not ready to go back home - YET anyway)

so yea.. i can say that i'm feeling much better and i thank (very much) to those who have been there with me... now i understand what has been happening to the ppl here as i've been there, just like them

the next week would be the week of running around, health check, interviews and finding ways in whole of KL/Selangor to different locations... damn! why did the petrol price go up again?

Bowling Session - #2

because of Bowling Session #1, we dragged somemore ppl for a second session.. hehehe... this time we had extra 3 ppl joining us.. coolness!! we again had 2 games, this time they gave us 2 lanes... it was fun...

there was "stiff" competition between the two Penangites, in the end the guy HAD to win it.. but i think it was just pure luck, last try - 2 strikes in a row.. how la to beat that!! damn! hahahah but it's ok, it's all fun

the two penangites at a go

someone broke a nail

one lansi penangite on the right? hehehe :P

in the end, it was fun, there were foostable and guys had a game or two while the girls.. waited... patiently.... it was a school-day so, we had to leave early as we had work the next day, and also our monica here, works at 9pm...

we'll definately be doing this... if not with the guys, we girls will go again... i'm sure

Bowling Session - #1

the 3 musketeers were bored and it was the last few days for farah at work, we decided to do something fun and crazy to let of "steam and depression"... so... bowling came to mind... we headed towards Berjaya Times Square and played a couple of games.

surprisingly, when monica entered our so-called names, it turned out to be S A D !!! hahahah how sad could that be!!! we were there because we're sad and that we wanted to do something fun to feel better! who knows, even our names turned out to be sad.. pathetic right?

we lined up, among the kids/youngsters (mostly young punks) and paid for our game, went to get our shoes and headed towards our lane... my shoe had holes at the side - very worned out... the others shoes were ok i think

its been a while since i went bowling, and it felt cacat bowling for the first time after so long.. but after a while, it was ok.. though i felt the place was old and worned out - lanes had holes, bowls had loads of scratches.... maybe i'm too fussy... hahaha

surprisingly i had a few strikes here and there, but it was all flook (spelling?)... i had no strategy or style even.. hahahah... but bottom line, we had fun making fun of each other and fun just being crazy... miss those girls already

after a hard days at bowling, i didn't have enough of the outing yet, i wanted to have a "drink"... since Times Square didn't have a place as such, we went to Pavillion, towards Carlos.... it was Happy Hour and monica joined me... it was good to have a cold Heineken... monica enjoyed it too. she turned red abit... me? of course la i turn red.. i always have natural blusher! hahahah i became very red very quickly because it's been ages since i drank..

then outside, celcom had some football promo thingy and we saw 2 guys on stilts... amazing but, they were abit cocky... anyway, since we were there, they were there, we had cameras ..... u know what happened next LOL

that was our first bowling trip... there will always be a second trip! watchout for it!

truth hurts

its human for us to always want to hear what we want to hear and not wanting to hear the real naked truth... as far as i know, deep down, i do know the truth about myself and hearing it outloud from someone some how sounds more painful than what i'm telling myself

i'm not angry at those who has been helping me in my "down" time.. i'm just angry at myself as i KNOW what's wrong, i KNOW what i should be doing, but i some how just DON'T do it... call me stubborn, call me lazy, call me spoilt-kid... i just need that push or shall i say "enlightenment" for me to get going... again

the past month has been awful, something i couldn't control happened and being the person i am, i get lost when i loose control

i had it all planned, reaching 2 years, if there's no progression, i try something else and by 3 years or so, be someone before going home and settling down with my own family.... but now, before even reaching two years, it hit me and it shocked me and i now am lost.... but funnily, behind the back of my head, i actually know what to do... but do i do it?

looks like i'm not.... (at this moment)

hearing the truth just recently made me realised that i may not be fit being here in the heart of the country - it's something too overwhelming and something i can't really "plan" or "control"... so i guess when i get surprises like this - i'm in shock and don't really know what to do... should i give up and go crying home? no, not yet... but how long can i tahan being here?

hearing me talk about plan, control.... i was told that i should be thinking of the next 10 years... and not the next 1 year... i should have a goal on what i want to be, what i want to have - in 10 years....

and "going-with-the-flow" is not good enough... what if the flow you follow leads you to be 35 years old, just being a normal employee, not getting good enough title or the pay you're supposed to have... is that what you want? i myself am not sure.. of course you would want to be "someone"... lead, manager, own a business.... but isn't that what EVERYONE wants?

sometimes i feel i'm very hard-headed, don't want to listen to what ppl have to say, don't want to motivate myself and yet i pray to God to give me more motivation...contradicting myself right? i don't think that's right, and yet i'm not doing anything about it...

looks like i'm lousy and a looser

someone i respect somehow sees through me, it seems i'm very "obvious" that i'm a very negative person... whatever comes out from my mouth has been negative... and i wonder to myself, why have i became like that? is it because i don't hear enough praises for what i've done? is it because i'm not important enough to other people or for work? or is it because i somehow am a sadist?

as you can see, i'm confused at this moment....

i just hope i'll be back on my feet soon, be the happier, carefree, worry-less person i used to be... i too miss shimmers

all i think i can do now is pray, pray that i'll be me again... and get out of my depression

Can long-distance relationship work?

here's something (brief) i read in a free newspaper one day - Malaysian Today. just thought it was interesting as it sort of concerns me and to those who are in the same situation..

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

- Can long-distance relationship work?

Phone/Online Dates

You need to ensure that you are kept in the loop with what's going on in each other's lives. Calling or chatting online because you feel like you should is not going to work so make your time "together" count. Set up a regular time and day for you to communicate with each other so you can look forward to it and also make sure that there are no interruptions. There's nothing worse than calling someone long-distance only to have them unable to speak to you properly because they're busy or they have other people around

Catch Up

Make your conversations count. Don't just have mushy conversations (although those are nice!) as this is the time for you to catch up on what's going on in each other's lives. Tell your partner what's been happening with you and take an interest in what he's been doing. This will keep you in the loop as this is the closest you can get to sharing his life at the moment, and vice versa.

Impulsive

Being impulsive can actually make your partner's day. Although you have an agreed time to speak or chat with each other, a random message just to let him know that you're thinking of him is nice once in a while. Just don't bombard him with mushy messages all the time as he could take it for granted and it could also potentially irritate him!

Be Understanding

Although you don't have to stick to just the times agreed upon to call or message your partner, you have to understand that he may not be able to entertain you whenever you see fit. He does have other things going on and if you're in different time zones, don't expect him to be cheerful and happy to hear from you at 3AM when he has to be up early the next day.

... and the bottom line....

Communication is very important in any relationship but even with all the technology in the world available, it all booils down to the two of you. Sometimes long-distance relationships can bring people closer together as they realise how much the other person really means to them. So don't give up on that person just yet...

Disclaimer : information extracted from Malaysian Today - July 3-9, 2008

Farah's Farewell

it was Farah's last day at the company, sad but it's alright, she's going to a much BETTER place = BAT! lucky her.. wonder when i'll leave this place...

so the four of us, Monica, Emma, Fendi and moi - finished work early and decided to jom place at Chillies, KLCC.. but because they couldn't seat half the party we sat at the bar, waiting for the rest. monica had to leave early (she works the graveyard shift) so she had her dinner - was a burger.... mistakenly, she finished all her chips and veg, got soo full, she couldn't finish her burger!! hahahah

by the time the rest of the gang came, it was more than what we expected, farah was quite skeptical that no one wants to see her off.. but we were surprised cause nearly the whole team came! i told her that THEY care!!! she didn't believe me! LOL

because there were MORE of us, Chillies couldn't accomodate us... so we went to The Apartment (downstairs KLCC, same floor as Domes on the opposite end). because guys will be guys, they had to drink. this time, it was my first time seeing a "beer-tower"... interesting... it says that one tower = 6 glasses... in The Apartment, one tower was RM99, we had 4!!! hahahah (mind you

somehow it looked like we had a colour-theme going on that night - all shades of blue!

newbie on the right - Farry, from Indonesia

new Cuppacakes recruit! Earl LOVED it!!! heheheh
and so did Azali!!! yeay!!

well to Farah, we wish you all the best, i'm sure u'll do great at BAT, i know the guys will be asking u for the free 2 boxes everymonth but hey, not me, for me, u'll have to belanja makan ye!! heheheh!! just be your happy self, you have good PR and u'll do well. trust me, u're in a much better place compared to me at this moment

Anlene Bone Health Check

my company tends to have health check off and on and this time was bone check - by Anlene. i was abit worried on how healthy my bone was but to my surprise, i was one of the "healtiest" employee here! LOL.. the rest were more on the yellow section.

what we needed to do? just stick your feet in a machine, spray some solution then beep beep your results are out

fendi
farah

farah and her healthy results too!

anyway, it was good to be away from the calls for a while... during these "bad" times, at least something GOOD came out of this, so far it's the only good news i got during this ordeal...