i didn't make it...

with the girl talk i had on sunday, we came to the conclusion that we CAN'T change ppl, we got to LEARN to accept them... if u can't accept them.. then.... well.... sigh...

so.... even if u love them, and "think" that u have accepted them but still it doesn't really "work" for you.. should u still hang on and wait? till it "works"? or just accept it as it is, be with them and just be "alone" at the same time?

sigh.. decisions decisions decisions.....

i just wished i was in school and just have to worry if i made it in the volleyball team or not... it was not actually..

alone.. again

as predicted, i'm going alone..
even though i'm in a relationship, i'm alone
so i guess it doesn't make any difference anyway...
sigh.. when will i NOT be alone...
maybe never...
*cry*



ONE train ticket please....

it's halloween....

do u guys celebrate it?

well i know we don't here, no such thing as trick-or-treat going from door to door in costumes and getting candy... but what i know happens here with adults, is that they go clubbing IN costumes! hahahha.... haven't been to one before, cause i know it'll be too crowded...

well the "party" usually starts the weekend before today, like on sat when i went to Bagan with the girls, the bartenders had their costumes (more like masks) on and the interiors had fake cobwebs and the halloween whatnots..... would be nice to experience trick-or-treating, been "dreaming" for going for one ever since i read it in my kiddie story books.. sounds like fun! hehehehehe

to my couz, Blur Dugong and her other half..

Happy Anniversary

2 years now!

May your coming years be filled with love,

understanding and patience

food outlets in Penang

so here are the latest gossips on what are gonna open in Penang!!... ooooo i'm soo excited!!

1- CHILLIES ... yeah!!!
2- TGI Friday
3- Burger King... YES!!!
4- Italianis
5- well this is not a food outlet but, heck, TGV is coming!!

and what's ALREADY here....

1- Subway
2- Swenson

lil Reutens history

been wanting to do this...

ever since i had my digital camera, i've always wanted to take a pic of PROOF that my grandfather and grandmother was the creator of the hymn (we all sing in church) .... the Bapa Kami...

my grandfather was sort of a scholar/literature/holy/bible knowledged kinda guy and he was very known in the church community... he had like wat (i can't really remember) 4 or 6 priests at his funeral??!! hahah... anyway, he was one of the ppl who was in the team to build the Holy Spirit Church in Green Lane... am not too sure on which part of the building process he was in but he was sure involved...

and since my grandmother was a piano teacher, she and grandfather came up with this hymn, he translated the Our Father into Malay and my grandmother came up with the music... (that's what i've been told)

so.. everytime i sing the original (yes, they have made a few variations to the song) Bapa Kami... i think of them and how proud i am to be their granddaughter....

miss them lots.... :(

G & C Reutens is Gerry and Charlotte Reutens

Female Dugongs

hahahah.. yea.. so the girls finally met up...

we met up at Ribs... one of my fav rib makan places... they had a dinner set RM38+ where there's Ceaser Salad, main meal (i chose Hunter's Hunt) and red/white wine with ice cream... i had to ask the waitress...

me: what's in Hunter's Hunt
waitress: chicken saugsage and ribs
me: thanks

i looked at the girls....

me: did she say "chicken" "sausage" and "ribs" or did she say, "chicken sausage" and "ribs"
girls: ..... *ruffeled dunno*....

so i had to wait what i got.. was it chicken, sausage and ribs or chicken sausage and ribs... quite confusing right?

couldn't really take pictures cause my bloody battries weren't "connecting" well with my camera... though i DID charge it before i came over to penang... sigh.... but i did manage to get a pic of the wine i got... i thought it'd be a full glass of wine.. but no... they just gave that lil bit...

anyway, we caught up alot, bout work, friends, gossips... we occasionally touched on the subject of MY bf and Aunty Dugongs bf... our food came late... sigh we were too hungry... ate it up in a second!!! then we went to Bagan...

what's so dugong about us is that we planned for this for nearly 2 whole weeks!! and no one thought of calling Bagan to make reservations!!! we thought we WOULD have a place... but hello!!! where on earth would u get a good sofa seat in the most happening Jazz outlet in lil Penang on a SATURDAY night? nadaaa... u won't!! so... we just hung out abit there... standing around, hoping we could squeez or "share" a table.... but sigh.. couldn't... saw Eleanor and Nick having a corner to themselves... but i guess they had friends over... takkan want to thick-face join them right? hahahah...

in Bagan

so... we couldn't really find a place to go to... didn't want clubbing.. too noisy.... we wanted jazz... so Blur Dugong suggested Rasa Sayang Bar.... we were like... uh.... isn't that $$$???? well, we could go there and just have a look and at least we managed to GET IN the "resort" and check the place out....

we went there... and when we got to the place, there were just 3 parties, us and 2 other white groups... even the pianist, guitarist and singer were all whites! ahahhaha.... abit of a culture shock for me though... but i guess with such high class place like this.. (min the room rates are about RM1400+++) it's normal for such high-class-fine-dinning-prices to have an atmosphere like this.... we saw the menu... omg.... RM18++ for a fruit tea RM32++ for a normal vodka coctail.... don't want to think of the other liquor drinks.. RM40++ just for a glass!!! sheesh!!...

what i liked about this bar like place is the glasses!! i think they custom make their own glasses!! they're so cute and unique!! and of different sizes!! i love it!! i nearly wanted to take one back.. hehehehe but i didn't! i swear!! after drinks... we went to check out the restrooms... hehehehe.. naughty ones we are, they had lil towels for us to wipe our hands!!!! cute! then we walk around the compound of the resort... can't really see much cause it was .. wat.. 1am in the morning! hahahah.... but with my stupid battries managed to get on of the girls on some steps.. i love the look of this, but sigh.... with bad battries, couldn't take good pics... :( i dunno la why... i'm using new battries and it show's "change your battries" and just dies on me.... i was told that the connection of the battries in my camera is cacat.... *cry*

don't think u can see us... except for my white bag... hahahah

but anyway, music was nice, the cushions and seats were nice, it was empty, quiet and we managed to talk alot... it's been a while since we did this anyway.....

so to the Female Dugongs.... we are here for each other, don't forget that, and our friendship has gone a long way and i appreciate of what u guys been doing and thank you for everything. love u guys!

ad-hoc reunion

initially, it was supposed to be just Nooreen, Pauline, Jess and Brian and me for ice cream but it turned out to be a surprise reunion with EeLin and Elaine and Michelle.. which is good.. i haven't seen them for quite a while...

when we reached there it was packed!! PACKED i tell u!!! we had to put our names in a list just like Chillies and Sushi King.... there was a table empty outside (it was raining too) and we could just sit there... though we sat there, there were so many ppl just standing among us which is quite uncomfortable...

sitting outside Swenson... too many ppl..

so when the crowd seized, the 2 girls had already arrived and obviously there were no room, so we waited till we got a seat inside... too bad Jess and Brian had to leave.... it would be nice to hang out with her again....

inside with the girls

we ordered our ice creams, though they had limited flavours.. all sold out! eerrggghhh!!!! so since i was on my no-choc diet, i opt for orange and lime sherbert.. sigh... the rest had their choc prizes.. i could just stare at it... sad right? then michelle was hungry... so we thought she was... she got a pizza but she only took one slice and she "made" us eat one each.... :P

continued chatting till the shop was to close... not to say it was THAT late, just 11 something only.... sheesh.. if Juru AutoCity is to be hip and happening, they should stay open longer!!!

so that was my surprise reunion! hahahah 2 are getting married, 2 got their carreer on the move, 1 is gonna study again - OVERSEAS!! and me leh.... sigh.. no need to say la... :(

sigh.. friday.. again...

look how time flies!!! it felt like it was just yesterday that malaysia was flooded this time last week.... and it's already been a week...

so, to save myself from traffic surprises, i try to logon here to check on the penang bridge traffic... what took me by surprise is this pic. one of the camera's was turned to the back facing the wall/pillar... funny i tell u.... takkan they didn't notice kut....

oh well at least the traffic towards the bridge is fine and the middle span is also clear looking... lets see if i'll get caught today. nope i'm not going to hang out today in penang after work, am too depressed to do anything... anyway i'll be having good dinner and jazz tomorrow with the Female Dugongs.... and also another dinner on sunday...

so.. lets see what time i get home today...

away...

i feel like running away

and not tell anyone

just to find out

who would actually care...

because HELLO.... i'm here u know....

buh..buh...but...i...i...

i can sometimes be naive and vulnerable... i guess... but it's sad and hurtful to hear things that u may not be included... it hurts more especially when u thought u were one of them and that u'd be the one they would confide in.... but i guess i'm just the many of the other friends of everyone

maybe i'm just a wanna-know-it-all or worst still, a busy body...

u meet some whom u haven't met in ages, they're getting married, u hear them talk about wedding plans and stuff, but u can somehow feel that u're not involved (or worst still not invited)....

or u know of one who u thought u'd be told bout important things in life but have to find out from a 3rd party and when u meet, it's like as if "oh u didn't know"?

or when u've been there from the start and somehow in the end, u're not given the insights of the latest news and u find out it has been told to someone else - not u

or when u think u're the best friend but in fact u're not, it's someone else and it's been said to your face that u're not the best friend...

or when u're ignored because u are friends with ppl that they suddenly don't want to have any connection with...

or when u have good news and thought they'd have the same excitement that u have but only to get a "ooh really?" reaction...

what's worst, is when u have all this bad feelings and at the same time have a rough time with the other half and said the worst thing one could ever say to another person - even though it's the truth, and u know u can never take it back

AND

u have a big-important-life-changing decision to make and u can't confide in the other half because of the stupid thing u said and realise that it's time u HAVE to be independant....

maybe i AM a perfectionist... i want everything my way, i want everybody to think like me and do things my way and want everything to be normal and inorder...or maybe i am just pure selfish and not know it eventhough it's staring in my face... or maybe i'm just too emotional and sleepy and not knowing what i'm saying or what i'm trying to say...

i'm basically sad, pissed, angry at god knows who and also to my bloody self

am i

THAT invinsible?

i....

want chocolate!

moody

i don't know why but i feel that i'm pissed with the whole world today....

guess i just wanna go home and sleep.... :(

it's everywhere!

u know when u're not supposed to do something, or see something or in my case eat something, it's EVERYWHERE in your face? and u can't "touch" it!!! it's torture man!!!

like last night, after a big chicken-rendang-ketupat-satay-gravy feast, we all went to Swensons for dessert.... OMG.... bad idea man... there was nothing that has NO CHOCOLATE!!! the only thing they had was either YAM, COCONUT or MANGO.... yam, bluueeggghhh.... coconut, uh..no?... mango? YES!! but then they didn't have anymore - finish! sheesh

*cry*

in the end, i ended up making-your-own-sunday with lime and orange sherbert... nice la.. but it's not nice when your friends are having the Qoit Tower, choc sunday, ice choc drink...etc.... sigh...

sometimes i feel like denying that it's not working so that i can go back to eat chocolates.... but well, everything takes time... i guess.... sigh..... :(

last day of the makan feast

going to Nooreen's house to makan tonight... can't wait... and this will end the Raya hols for me... not that i was on holidays in the first place ... hahahha.... then the makan feast will continue at christmas time...

OOOoohhh nooooo..... CHRISTMAS!

climbing the ladder

u know, sometimes u just got to be humble... i know u're watching your back, and wanting to move forward for your own good and get all that awards... but (i feel la) dun compromise ppls friendship or ruin ppls image of yourself..

in my line of job, customers can be very demanding and sometimes its very stressfull, but it all boils down to team work. and when we find out that you choose the customers u want to deal with it gives a bad feeling to us about u

person 1: waa.... u choose your customers ahh?
person 2: OF COURSE!
person 1: *uh? sheesh!!! like that also can ah?*

it sounds very lansi.. like u are the only one that has the privilage of choosing which customers u want to talk to or not

i know i'm not "perfect" in my job, not being able to turn customers from nasty to nice, or from boring to exciting or from blur to alert. i don't have the privilage to "choose" my customers but i'll try my best to help the ones that come my way, it may be stressful but what to do? it's the job. so why can't u? why do u need to know first who's trying to find u? why not just answer the calls that come your way and try to make the best of it? isn't that was customer experience is all about?

sigh..

i know u all may think that i'm jealous that ppl are climbing their ladders, and i'm bearly at the first step of one, even the ladder is not there infront of me to climb... but i'm not jealous... it's just frustrating to see ppl climb and at the same time see them change with the altitude...

dun forget where u were from.... the bottom....

today

is it a holiday or not?

dad went to work, i'm working (as usual), the roads are clear, half of the office is off but the ppl i assume are supposed to be on holiday are at work O_o ... so... is it a holiday or not? well heheh... i for one AM getting 3x pay today! hahahhaahh

i got up at my usual time, was thinking maybe ppl ARE working today, and the jam will be maybe a lil less but still there.... but i was wrong ... there was NO JAM!! i was soo happy!!... then i say a very nice parking lot... RIGHT infront of the entrance... but then... see see it was closed!!! as far as i know, that entrance is open from Mon - Fri 7am - 7pm... no one said bout public holiday!!!! sigh... so had to walk ALL THE WAY to the back entrance which is 24/7 sigh....

1st- could have slept longer and 2nd- could have parked nearer...

tomorrow, i shall get up later abit... AND i'll be having another feast after work tom!! muahahaha!

ayam masak merah!

i've been waiting for a year to eat ayam masak merah! and i ate it twice!! once at Sutha's house and once at Thi's house! how wonderful!!!

at work, i was nearly late but was in time for work, tired from cleaning my room the night before from flood i managed to get up in time... the roads were clear thank GOD for that and i was well rested, slept good... at work, tummy was starting to grumble... but managed to tahan till food arrived... too many phone calls to think bout naughty tummy... what we had was McD Breakfast sets... sigh.... i just hope i can tahan till deepavali makan! hahahah...

at 3, left for home, went to fetch pauline and off we went to sutha's place.. though it's always felt awkward going to see her, but never the less, we were friends for a very long time AND because my parents are friends with her parents too.... got to catch up abit, found out that she's hell of a successfull woman, working under Rafidah.. in the Ministry of Int Trade.... got her own office somemore... fuhh..... sigh... when will I get my own office.... i wonder, somehow i feel it's just a foolish dream...

anyway, we had our "lunch" which was actually tea cause it was 4+pm!! hahaha and i not shy, had 2 helpings! i can't help it! her mum's ayam masak merah is L O V E L Y!!! LOVELY!!!! so after more chatting and laughing pauline and i went to thi's house... met up with michelle there too.... there, i also had my chick! hahah but the rest didn't eat - full. didn't really stay long cause i was DEAD tired and thi's bro's friends were coming...

i came home, had a good bath... and couldn't stay up for tv... went to bed early....cause... i had mass to go to the next morning.... what a deepavali... lovely with my chicken!

Let there be LIGHTS!

~~~~~ {{ HAPPY DEEPAVALI ! }} ~~~~~

I wanna wish to all my Hindu friends a very Happy Deepavali!

May the festival of lights bring u lots of lights

to guide u

and may u have a wonderful fun

and full (tummy) day!

heheheheh

what a night!!

i predicted there would be a very BAD traffic jam.. and was i right? hell yeah! and luckily dad fetched me so half the way i didn't drive... what was worst was that it was raining heavily.. and when i say heavy.. means heavy!! thunder storm lightning and all that!!! the traffic was so bad, we decided to find a nearby place to eat... ended up in Sunshine Square.. thought of eating at Pizza Hut there but it was CLOSED!!!! and McD was PACKED!!! so ended up at the lousy food court with food that is about to finish... all left overs.. sigh....

so i folded up my pants, and had to share one umbrella with dad, and walking in water and getting half the body wet from the car to Sunshine Square.. just for that few metres... wet!

anyway, managed to get some tomyam beehoon fish which has nothing in it, just beehoon and 3 small pieces of fried fish... sigh... and dad... pity him, only had rice and some touyu egg and toukua... wat to do... the foodstalls at the food court all no more food...

while eating i had a phone call and messages.... it seems my grandma's hse, LeNid @ Green Lane was flooded... flood in the garden nvm... but this time water masuk la wei!!! water went in through the living room, into the rooms into the kitchen...

so after dinner, dad and i went to Tesco to get Anna some dinner, poor thing no makan and she's cleaning the hse.... when we went to the hse.. the gate couldn't open, rubbish all stuck to it, dad had to try clean it first... somemore it was dark and raining... bad bad bad.... then got in the house.. saw the mess.... at least it was only water.. no mud.. cause Anna managed to put a piece of wood at the door with cloth to prevent water from coming in... it only managed to stop the mud.. not the water.. water still came in...

there was water everywhere... living room, kitchen, my room the most... dad's room... and it seems the bathroom was overflowing as well.... i didn't see it happen though.. when we got there, water has already supsided and it was time to clean up...

actually.. this is my first flood.... when the floods happened in Bayan Baru where we used to stay, i was too small to know and help, i was 5 years and below.. hahahah.... mum said she'd put me on the car roof and left me there while she and dad started to clean the mess ... hahahah how cute is that!

so last night was my first .. heheh a virgin in floods... i got some towels and a mop and a bucket... tried to soak and mop the floor trying to get water into the bucket, squeezing towels and mop... in the end i ended up using a hand pail to scoup the water into the pail - squating... hahahah... was fun though, get to play with water.. hahaha... so did that for a while, till dad came to the rescue, he managed to clean his room, not much water (mine was the worst) and he used the brush... so i did a barrier from the room to the bathroom with towels and mops.. so when he started brushing the water out from the room, it'd go to the bathroom and no where else... smart eh? ;) ahahha.. so much faster that way! only then i could mop properly (fan was on on 4) and just waited for it to dry.....

then helped in mopping the living room and dinning room... not much water though.. just abit here and there... and abit of mud... i'm sure anna today will do proper cleaning.... dad and anna was cleaning the outside, garden... where King (the dog) was making so much noise... it seems Anna said when the flood happened, King came in the house and went to hide somewhere in the house, that chicken shit he is... hahahahha....

so by the time we managed to at least have the house neat and clean from the flood it was nearly 11pm.. tired man... and i got to work this morning... sigh...

Mr China Man, i CAN mop! and clean a flooded house now.. ok?!

help...!!!

oh noo... another headache!!! why do they have to come all at once? one a time enough la... now i REALLY got a headache!!!

O_O

hearts beating fast, heads thinking too much, too fast = headache... ugghh....

cakes... wonderful cakes

so i decided to drop by Maxim's cake house in Pulau Tikus... i know it's a very famous bakery and it's semi-cafe where u can have your cake and coffee there itself. i haven't actually bought anything from there before... so.. since i was in the neighbourhood, i went in....

fuhh.... on the right they had the new-age kinda ice-cream... i don't know what u call it, it's like yogurt-sherbert-gelato kinda thingy, like Lecka-Lecka... and on the left was their fridges of cakes and cakes and ice cream cakes!.... my mouth was watering!! i didn't know they had such nice looking cakes!!! they had cute lil small ones... then they had the medium size ones, and the large huge ones... then also the ice cream cakes... OMG!......

so i decided to chia myself to a small piece of cake... remember i'm still on a choc diet, so i got an orange cake.... hehehehe.... it was nice though.... the cake was dry... hmm...

next, i'll get the small size cake and see if there's anyone i can share it with me... hmm... that also dunno when i'll go back to Maxim's.... it's been a while since i ate those type of cakes... :)

quite nites ahead

yes... at least for two night's i'll be sleeping in a peaceful room.... NO SNORING!!! yeay!!!

will be at my grandma's place tonight and tomorrow night, dad's bringing my grandpa for checkup tomorrow, so he's gonna use the car and I won't go home on fri night because i do not want to get stuck in a freaking traffic jam! AND i get get up a lil bit later tomorrow and for saturday! YAHOOOOoooo!!

hehehehe.....

who's to pay

a scenario for you people...

Jack owns a house and rents it out to Frank for a sort of long term use - maybe 3 months or so. and Frank doesn't pay rent to Jack, cause they're friends. obviously Frank pays for the water bill and electricity bill.... but the house isn't new... the house is very old and has leaks here and there, doors are worn out, fans are creaking, pipes are dripping...

so the question is, who is to foot the bill of those repairs? Jack? the owner of the house? or Frank? who is temporaryly using the house for free?

and if u have an answer, can this be applied to cars instead of a house?

like Jack owns a car and give Frank to use it. car repairs.... break pads, filter, air-con repairs.. who's to pay? Jack the owner or Frank who is using it?

really appreciate your feedback, i'm in a dilema.....

lovely...

i would love to have a wedding something like this.... so sweet, simple and yet still looks elegant... sigh.... *in dream land*

look at the tables, by the sea... the CLEAR BLUE sea... with lil lenterns hanging, lamps... wonderful...

and the ceremony would be under nice smelling flowers... petals under barefeet, casual comfortable wear... just with loved ones, family and friends.. a small crowd.... i love this type of scenery.....

*in cloud 9*

photos curtesy of Aja Ng

my dad...

sometimes my dad can be so funny....

i noticed a few nights already he stopped hogging my pc... wonder if he lost interest in his online chess... hmm....

anyway, last night he was sitting at the dining table, with papers and thick books and busy writing stuff... i knew it was his work thingy.. i jokingly spoke to him

me: you doing homework ah? heheh

dad: .....

and then after a while

dad: how come got homework? retired ppl supposed to stay at home, watch tv and read newspapers....

me: dunno ah... wat to do... hehehehe

hahahahah he can be funny at times i tell u.... sometimes it takes time for him to have a comeback...

just like this one also...

there was this time where i asked him to buy koay teow thng for me.... what he got me was sar hor fun, but it's chic soup instead of the sticky brown gravy... so...

me: i thought i asked for koay teow soup?

dad: .....

later....

dad: there, there's koay teow.. and there's soup... so it's koay teow soup! hehehhe

me: ....??..... hahhahhaah

the makan holidays are BACK!

yes! Deepavali and Raya hols are back... and it's eating time!! again... sigh..... how la to loose weight like this? hehehehhe....

as usual, like last year, i'll still be working on these days, yes, on sat also... cause majority of the team celebrates Deepavali, so that leaves the 3 of us who don't celebrate Deepavali, we got to work.... but luckily it's on a sat, so i finish early, and will still be in time (i hope) to go to my friends hse for makan... hahahha.... then rest for 2 days, then makan again at another house... but tht too is after work....

i miss those days when i can just go to her hse for lunch... chit chat chit chat till tea... have tea... and then chit chat again.... till it's dark... now... sigh... have to go at tea time... or like last year, go for dinner.. hahahha... paiseh.. ppl ask to come for lunch, u go for dinner... hahahah... but she's ok with it.. she said, as long as i come..... which is good!

these public holidays are always a small school reunion for us... it's the only time we come back to our kampung (actually for them la... i'm still at my kampung, never left!!) and have the time to meet up... and its the time where i get the chance to eat home cooked festive foods too... rendang, ketupat, briani rice, dhal, tosai.... yumm.....

sigh... friday.... THE TRAFFIC JAM!!!!! who wants to accompany me at work?

a surprise i wasn't there

was working painfully on sunday... yes physically, i was in pain... because of this...

but anyway, when i got home, my dad happily told me that my cousin wanted to kidnapp me out for lunch! hahahah but i was not home.... i was at work!! i missed them...so sad.... it's been ages since i saw her....

la.. cher.. next time call lo... hhahahahh

so i found out that she and her bf just came over to check out the Juru AutoCity, and ate at Swensons'.... nice leh...? hehehheeh.... ever since it opened, i only went there once.. hahah can u believe that? stay so close but never go there.. hehehehe....

plans plans plans

sigh... it's another week again... i dread thinking of this coming weekend... well, there would be lots of food though, but first i need to go home on friday! and not get stuck in a jam... and end up having a sleep over in a middle of a traffic jam sigh....

so pauline's coming down, nooreen's coming down too! all for deepavali and raya hols... can't wait.. hehehe... though i'll be working.. no life!

someone suggested a cambodia holiday.... hmm..... very interesting (and very suggestive).... hahahha but i have no idea what's cambodia all about except for their ancient temples.... it would be nice to go but there's so much to think about... 1-$$$ and 2-work/leave 3-$$$... it's not as if i can easily take leave like some ppl i know in my team....

plans are coming along for the Female Dugong Nite (FDN) outing... we're still at the where-to-eat phase and whether to go to Bagan for drinks or not.. ALSO considering our budget.... but it's good that we're all into this and want to meet up... :)

another group of gfs too want to meet up the next day... but the plans are quite blur and too general... it would be nice to meet up with them too....

came already

sigh... bloody period!

am i that bad?

in school... i've always wanted to "belong", be in a group.. be visible, be known... not actually be popular where everyone bitches about but be someone ppl know....

a few times i became so-called best friends with some girls.. but it never lasts... my first best friend was SM, we were BEST OF FRIENDS man..... it was my happiest times being with her.. we did everything together... we read the same books, we talked over the phone like nobody's business, she knew bout my family, i knew bout her family, my mum loves her, she loved my mum... everyone knew, it was Fiona and S....

then we were in a group with about 4 others or so..... and i felt la (this is coming from MY side of the story..) that AT was also becoming her best friend... somehow along the road, things happened, i was lied to, i was ignored... and somehow i saw the reason was that she had plans with her.... and that was it, it was never the same till now.... we still are on talking terms, but never the same...

i was close with CTan, we were both into Sweet Valley and wanted to create a club just like how Jessica Wakefield had a club.. what's the name of Jessica's club again? anyway she thought of the name the "Princesses" for our club... then i asked who would be in it, she listed a few girls but didn't include me.... i knew, she didn't like me at all, she was just being nice allowing me to hang out with her.. kan she popular.... sigh....

PS was a friend, we were only once in the same class in primary, then she went to the more popular class... but because we stay fairly close by, we became what u call it "after-school" best friends.... we hung out after school, went to the same tuition, went to pasar malam... but funny thing is, in school, we had our own different set of friends... never actually hung out together much.... only towards the last 2 years of high school, we were in the same class and were closer abit, though we still had our own different set of friends...

we became closer only when school ended, even though she didn't stay in our hometown, we kept in touch and i would always meet her and we would go places when she came back.... and i thank God we're still as close as before....

in the later years in school, i got close to MelT, i couldn't really remember what happened that we became distant.... but i remember us joining stuffs because we were of the same race...

then it was 2E, she was snappy, she was quick in her words and i don't know how, we became quite close too... till maybe i couldn't tahan her mulut laser, we became distant....

i was close with P most of my high school years, where we did nearly everything together.... recess together, makan together, sat in church together, went for cathecism together, though we didn't share boyfriends, but i was with her when she had probs with her bfs (and in between bfs), i was her middle person for the boy community (she was a hot babe u see, and she knows it... and i was not) and i was always to go to her hse just to hang out.... i don't know, maybe she was using me and i had NO clue... we drifted apart after we left school, she never bothered to keep in touch... and i didn't know where and how to find her...

sat next to NA in school, and i adored her! she was funky, she was loud, she was spontaneous, she was active, she was smart and she was very adorable too... i never regretted sitting next to her.... there was never a dull moment sitting next to her, and i'm glad we're best friends till now!

only after school, i became good friends with JC. somehow la we got together, had the same friends and liked the same music and what's funny is that we had the same bf problem!!! hahahah..... and i guess because of that we shared alot and became best friends.... and we still are... and i'm so glad for that...

at the same time, i started to become close friends with some boys, there was R, then KX, then TG, then K, then RW and the recent was TS.... all were close friends, hung out alot, drinking buddies, party buddies but never became close as a real bf... which i sometimes thought why not? what was wrong with me? couldn't i be your bf? but then again, i guess they just treated me like "buddies" , "one of the guys"... which i don't mind but why am i not gf material?

anyway, it doesn't really bother me cause i have my baby with me now... :)

the reason of this post is that, when i became good friends with them, i really gave them my all and i really appreciate our friendship... but they always turn their backs away from me at the end of the day.... over and over again.... and when it is over and i find out they have other friends i somehow feel hurt... jealous

i know i shouldn't be sensitive (or is that the reason we couldn't be long time friends?) everyone has their right to have which ever friends they want, and one shouldn't be jealous of that.... i keep telling myself that it's ok, u WERE their friend before, now give way to someone else, they too need their friendship.... but somehow, that feeling never stays and the jealousy creeps up.... it'll only heals when all contact is lost and when meeting them once or less than a year happens....

sigh.... am i a bad friend? a friend i can't seem to keep?

or maybe i'm just emo right now....

fucking traffic!

sigh.... i nearly cried on friday... i nearly cried in the car stuck in the jam... i nearly cried because there was a very HORRIBLE jam from work till the bridge, that's like nearly the lenght of Penang Island (and i'm sure till all the way home)... i couldn't stand it... it was horrible!!!

what's worst is that i couldn't go anywhere to wait till the jam stopped!! i was bloody stuck! in the middle of no where!! i couldn't go to a mamak, i couldn't go to anyone's hse, i was just fucking stuck in the middle lane of a 3 lane highway!!

so i decided.. fuck it... i'm gonna have a nap... tears were swelling in my eyes... am sooo frustrated.. i took a detour... luckily i didn't pass that exit yet... and drove to Pulau Jerejak jetty... didn't actually go there but that area was secluded.. not that i can wait there and have a drink... there's nothing there... so i stopped at the side near the bushes, locked myself in and had a nap.... sigh.... i think i slept but i could still hear the traffic outside.. i think i was there for nearly 45 mins or nearly 1 hr till i got up to drive back home....

though the line was still very long even after 2 hrs since i finished work, the line was moving.. which is good... so i managed to get home in 20 mins after i got up...

so frustrated man!! i can't believe i slept at the side of the road due to traffic.... i would never do that but i was on the verge of getting out of my car and smashing all the cars around me... sigh.....

i FEAR this coming fri will be as BAD.. and may even be WORST because of the Deepavali and Raya hols... long weekend.... sigh..... maybe i'll just sleep at work first.... sigh....

HORRIBLE!!!!!!!

tea snack

i bought my snack for tea...

and i've eaten it at 2pm....

i got nothing till i go home...

unless i take instant soup... blueegghh....

what am i to do till 6????

it's 4.30 and drinking liquids is not doing the job.....

...sigh....

soi day and stuffs

is it? or is it not?

it's friday the 13th, if u didn't realised... if i was really into believing that today is a very very bad day, i'll be home sleeping right now! hahahah... but i don't and i'm here sloggin at work... unfortunately.... sigh.. sad man...

outside is wet... big thunderstorm, which makes the inside colder, very much colder which makes all of us sleepy and lazy.... yea, it's a friday and things are slow here everyone is counting the minutes to their log off time to go home.... some even took half day leave... sigh.. me wan also!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

since my mum started so-called working in a cafe at the BM Country Club, i haven't seen her much, she works from 6 to 10.... which means by the time i get home it's 7++ and by the time i go to bed, she's not home yet... wonder how she's doing.....

this place where she works, it's like a pool-side restaurant.. obviously situated next to the pool of the club. the "boss" cooks simple food for the kids and their parents, ala-carte menu and sometimes a small buffet.... so mum's there to help the boss out (which means it's only the 2 of them) and also to sell her roti jala and her cakes... though sometimes the boss will cater a dinner party for 30 ppl or more, so my mum and her friend will help boss with things, and they split the profit between the 3 of them....

i think this is good for mum... better than cooking and selling and serving her own food in someones coffee shop.... and this also gives her a fixed income... no more complaining of being bored at home hahahhaha......

paiseh la, we're still using his brother's car... must have to get my car soon so that we wouldn't have to use other ppls car.... eventhough they don't mind us using the car, still... it's not nice... sigh..... the thing is i'm not THERE yet to buy one....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

so the female dugongs are planning for an all-girls-night out... HOPEFULLY this will happen since all are working ppl (cheh wah) and have stuffs to do... but HOPEFULLY we will all keep a date free for this.... its been a while since we all met up, so many things has happened and i know we need some girly gatherings once in a while... right girls? so end of the month is the planned date... HOPEFULLY it'll all turn out good.... (i'm saying hopefully to many times right? )

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

though it's fri and i'm OFF tomorrow.... i'm working on sunday, which sucks.... we can't run away from working on the weekends... the most also u can get away with 2 weekends... but in a month u're SURE to be working on some weekends.... no life man!!.... i want a 5 day week job!!! sigh.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

was planning to meet up with a good friend this sun after work but he's busy.... he said he MIGHT be free the next weekend.. so HOPEFULLY (there i go again...) that i'll be able to meet him then...

sigh... i'm bored and zzzzz

wannabe

hhahaha... was just having a lil conversation about the ppl here at work trying to sound/act like the customers we support... hello....!! its like if u dun get it.. dun use it!!..

it's like using the work "LA"... "MEH" the wrong way... it will not only sound weird it will make u look stupid too! hahahha (no offense to the foreigners here in penang trying to use the word la... i'm actually proud of you for trying ) i know la... we should try to sound like them, be as accurate as them to not risk them hanging up on us after swearing foul languages to us.. but then.. learn how to use first la...

i dun understand why issit that u have to change ones self to be accepted... in anyway, be it in school, in uni in another country or at work.... can't they just accept the way u are? are ppls mind set THAT shallow??? i can't say for myself that i'm perfect in anyway.... and i do sometimes diss the ppl who calls in and can't say A and I and E properly.... but then wat to do.... we are not supporting our own country... so we got to somehow... painfully accept their way of speaking... unfortunately...

so for me, as long u're with your homies (hehehe) speak your own way.. no need to show off show off all.... we don't need that..

;)

Wedding bells!

not mine ler...... unfortunately...

CONGRATULATIONS babe!!

now that u're in the next phase in life, warn me ya! heheheh...

i'm happy for u babe, and i wish u all the best in your future together with THE one... :)

be good, be strong, be "negotiable" (that's from my china man),

be understanding and never stop communicating

let me know when's the wedding hoo haa

so that i can get my dress made.. hahahah....

love u babe!

of bad movies with too much food

ate so much last week.... somehow the eyes became bigger than the stomach....

we went to eat at Gurney Drive at one of the rice and dishes restaurants, then also makan alot at gurney drive it self, also ate alot at Tambun seafood and a KFC small feast at home... tht's alot for just the weekend!! had relaxing fun.. slept late.. got up late... i was driven most of the time.. which is good! heheheh... traffic also.. was not THAT clear but not THAT jammed up too... which is lovely... (of course again, i was not driving... hehehe)

didn't really do much shopping.. more of daily essentials... money was mostly went for food hahaha.... must get my priorities right.... O_o

went to watch D O A .... yea.. i can't believe i actually went to see it.. but u can't sue me!!! there were no other movies to watch!!! the next best movie was Miami Vice and that was too late!!! so the movie showing at that time was that... sigh....

then we also went to watch The Banquet the next day... i thought it was good, but the movie is quite depressing... it started off with a sad theater play of a runaway prince about being lonely... sheesh... then there was royal guards coming after him slaying all his actors and trying to kill him.... at the palace, his gf was married to his father, and his fathers brother killed his father and claimed to be emperor and took his brothers wife to become his wife (are u still with me? or are u lost?) anyway, she claimed to be emperess the second time.. and was planning to kill her second husband so that she can be emperor and also kill her bf for the same reason.... sigh.... and SHE was Zang Ziyi.....

what was impressing of that movie was the clothes, the palace, the scenery.... the fight scenes.. not so... lots of "strings" attached...

first time wearing heels for a whole day, though towards the end, my feet started to hurt... heheheh.... didn't really do much walking anyway... car park to cinema... cinema to supermarket... supermarket to dinner... abit of looksee looksee on the way... but no major walking-around-shopping walk...

i actually planned the weekend for a swim at the seberang jaya public pool... then up the spice garden.. yes.. we went there twice but haven't ACTUALLY paid to get in the spice garden... but then again.. we were to lazy to do all that.. rather sleep late and get up late...

so now it's back to work..... sien...

bloody haze....

it's hazy outside, hazy in my head and hazy in my heart

hazy outside from the blasting forest fires... eventhough it's not screeching hot but it's so not nice to be out too.. just imagine, you're breathing ashes... sigh... even the sun today was ORANGE... when that happens means the air is dirty.... sigh...

hazy in the head... yups, i got the bug again.. after quite sometime... i did try getting enough sleep and eat right, but somehow la.. somehow sure get sick after a while... started off with golf-ball size like tonsils, then soar throat then headache then running nose.... now i have abeautiful (yeah right... sheesh) voice... until the customers sooo sooo love it, they want me to repeat what i say.. hahahahah.. sigh... oh and i just found out my fingers were turning purple.... O_o

hazy in the heart... well ever since i got so-called-ditched from my school friend who is not actually happy to see me... i started to analyze my current friendship with my friends... am i getting over board with the relationship, am i trying too hard to have ppl like me? am i getting too close too ppl and might just scare them off? (it happened before... and i didn't see it when it did.. until now.... which is actually sad.. i just thought they were busy...)

.... and the futures bleak when it comes to the matters of the heart... i guess i just have to live day by day... though it's good that i have my goals (more of dreams) and have the ability to make adjustments when nessary... but it is sometimes nice to know what the future holds.. at least u can expect it and prepare yourself for it.. i hate it when things go... maybe, might, not sure, we'll see..... it gets me all fidgetty and restless...

i always knew, in F5, i would be doing arts... then after that, had 2 choices, do F6 if no scholarship, do college (definate route)... so went to college.... already knew i wanted to do networking.. definate route again... (see... no spontaneous events in my life).. then take this job for the sake of working and earning and will leave when a PROPER job comes by.... so it's been one year and i'm still here.... would i take the risk to leave and start hunting again? what if i fail.. what if i can't get a proper job and end up in a job-for-the-money again... then there's the relationship... u all know what i was/am going through.... i guess that's the only thing that has no definate route...

sigh.. just hope the haze will just go away....

MY Pixart...

after reviewing fellow bloggers on Pixart, i decided to make one before the offer ran out. dad is sometimes sceptical with online purchases but in the end agreed for me to use his credit card for this Pocket PhotoBook.

so i downloaded the software, played around to get used to it and finally got one done... among the millions of pics i had, it's hard to choose which ones will make the cut... sad, but i had to make a choice hahaah...

then i uploaded the file to Pixart, keyed in my details and ta daa.... done! it says, 5 working days to receive the delivery, i was counting it should arrive today... but NOOOooooo it came on WEDNESDAY instead!!! 2 days early!! that's what i call managing expectations!! (haha learnt it at work)

so here's MY PocketBook..

the book has a hard cover with stich binding... i call that quality! and u can personalize it with your pictures too.. and put a title! cool aint it?

i love this angle...

then inside, the finishing is great, black paper and at the back their sticker to claim their product, which is fine by me... the paper quality, pages and colour is superb... love it!!

at first (same goes with NEW books) the book doesn't open well, but u can't be all sayang sayang and do not want to open the book... open la... then can see the pictures properly.... hehehe


there you go.... my review on MY Pixart Pocket PhotoBook... i'll sure make more and maybe a Coffee Table PhotoBook soon... so Pixart, looks like u got a new customer here! :)

Are Malaysians a copy cat?

so u see, i was in KL for my birthday right... then there's this new (maybe not so new) building/landmark in Bangsar area... i thought.. ehhh.. doesn't that look familiar? so since we were all staying in Brickfields and were around Bangsar (cause Pauline had to take some of her stuff with her and also we ate in Chillies Bangsar)... i had to take a pic.. cause i KNOW it's very familiar...

the building on the left is The Burj - Dubai and the one on the right is i think la is the Menara UMNO- TM (Telekom Malaysia) - Bangsar, Malaysia

don't u think it's familiar? especially the shape of that thingy on the top (i circled it) i know the one on the left, it's a tennis court.. but the one on the right? hmm....

damn it!

i slept early yesterday.... BUT... but... i was woken up by a big NOISY storm at 5 in the morning... where i'm supposed to get up at 6.30 in the morning.. and when i'm up from my sleep.. i can't really go back to a good sleep after that...

and somemore, i got up to a pair of golf-ball swollen tonsils!!!! sheesh!! just imagine the pain.. and my voice!! sigh..... took a swelling pill at work after lunch, it did go down but it was still uncomfortable and pain...

AND THEN.... the fever kicks in... and i sneezed (i didn't bless myself ok.. sheesh) a few times... sure sick already liddat!!!

sigh.......

got to try to sleep early tonight.....

sigh....

i want a day off!!!

PIXART Pocket Photo Book

it CAME!!! 2 days EARLIER!!!!

and i'm SOOOOO HAPPY bout it!!! it turned out VERY nice i tell u!!!... dun worry, i'll review it when i get home, with pics and all....

heheheh yeay yeay!!!

i'm a bit disturbed

have u ever gone up to a OLD SCHOOL mate u saw in the street not knowing her name just to say hi? hoping she remembers u?

well i did see a girl, very familiar and i knew it was one of my school mates... but i totally forgot her name!!! so i went up to her, asking if she remembered me... she mentioned my name, (forcefully) smiling acknowledging me.. i was happy that she remembered me but i had a feeling that she sort of didn't want to talk to me (eventhough she smiled)... i asked her how was she and what she was doing... she was like starting to walk away answering me with one single word answers, it's obvious she was not happy to see me...

i went home disturbed... i didn't know what happened there... i mean, i can't really remember our times together in school but i can remember her laughing together with me at certain occasions... sigh.... i don't think i offended her in school, or that i treated her badly..not that i treated ANYONE badly in school.. i thought myself as the unpopular kid who WANTED to be popular and also sometimes being invisible where no one knew i existed... sigh

that's why i went up to her... if i didn't really have such experience with someone, i don't think i'll go up to her... but then, she felt otherwise.. she did remember me, but she was distant... i know i shouldn't be sensitive, but i'm sort of disturbed and sad that that meeting turned up that way....

i'm still wondering what went wrong....

bla bla bla

i can't believe it, 2 FOOD posts in a row... am i lifeless or what... all i can think of is food? hahhaha.... not actually... i want my sleep too... getting up at 6.30am everyday for 1 year, u think u'll get used to it since u did it before during school... but still... when u experienced getting up late before u know how WONDERFUL it is..... sigh.... i'm just waiting for my weekends... just to get up late...

so my china man came home... i didn't meet them at the air-port.. no point actually....they went home asap and got their homesick-over-pampered dogs back home from their "nanny". didn't really talk to him bout his trip because he was doing all that.... sigh... eldest son ma... so he must do everything...

but anyway... i hope to hear some nice stories from him soon....

was watching Reality on 8tv yesterday, today's episode had more of Melissa that the previous episodes... hope to see her more often... this time, what i liked was the CHEMESTRY between Melody and Burn... the adrenaline... my gosh.... and they were natural...! that's wat i like... anyway, was waiting for One Tree Hill but it was cancelled for some A1 racing... sigh.... at least print it on the paper la.... u put in the paper got One Tree Hill for what? do u know HOW MANY GIRLS will be pissed at you?

oh well.. slept late... again.... can't wait till i have my whole weekend off again...

wondering when china man will come see me...

so Rasa Sayang is open, and i'm sure the guests are having a blast staying there.... at work, a certain group of ppl were invited for a makan and tour at the hotel but i'm not in that group... heard about it.. so lucky man!!! *envy* come to think of it, i haven't been up Batu Ferringhi for quite sometime... ros, cyn, cher.. wanna go? i'm sure the night market is still the same, selling the same things... not that food there is great, it's overly priced and it's not as nice as the food down town... but being there, walking there at night gives u a different feeling..

oh oh... sharon and beechoo owe me an outing.... girls.. when u ppl free ah...? and talking bout oweing an outing/dinner.. i owe someone a dinner since aug.. but haven't gotten the time... he la... always so busy.. heheheh.... but then again, i too had some stuffs going on the weekends... it would be nice to meet up again, it's been AGES!!! yea u, i know u sometimes read my blog, u hear me? it's been AGES!! :) we GOT to meet up...

experimental sacrifice

i'm on a chocolate diet... I KNOW!!! IT SUCKS!!!!

actually it's an experiment... i want to see if eating CHOCOLATES (i hope not!!) is the reason for my horrible breakouts of acne, pimples, white heads and black heads... so... what i'm going to do (i'm giving myself 2 months) is to NOT EAT chocolates *gasps* (anyway in the first place..i don't actually eat the actual choc bars/squares)... ANY KIND of chocolates.. be it choc cake, choc milk, choc pudding, choc tart, choc cheese cake...whatever la.. that is made from chocolates.... no more.. cannot eat....

what's demotivating is...

daughter: i've decided to stop eating anthing that is made from chocolates.. want to see if my face will clear up

mum: now only u realised?

daughter: uh? ...... *cry*

it's worst than being on an actual diet... sigh....

can someone hold my hand and wish me luck? *sob*

i want my chocholate milk.... sad sad sad....

Lok Lok

on friday, she and i went for lok lok in gurney drive for dinner. i do eat lok lok but never in penang, all the times i had lok lok was in BM.... and it's alil bit different, in bm we sit at a table with all the sticks in front of u, u dip them in the hot water, wait for it to cook and then eat it on your plate with sauces....

here, in Pulau Tikus market, it's the same but u share the table with strangers.. hahahah not that it's bad or what la... but in BM... my table means, my table.. so sharing sharing all.... tht's y u dun really see single ppl or couples eating lok lok... then the one in gurney was at a van like stall, u pic your sticks, dip them in hot water at the van and put them on the plate (mind u, all this is done standing - no tables) then put your sauces and pay for it... then u go to your place to sit and eat... if not, u just stand there, put the sauces on the food on the stick and eat there standing.... i've seen this type in KL... but none in BM... not that i know of anyway....

what's funny was that i didn't know wat to do at the van... i tried looking at other ppl on how they do it but most of them opt for the eating-and-standing... so anyway, i took some sticks and put it in the hot water.... asked for a ta-pau plate... and put the sticks (with the food still there) on the plate and i started to put the sauces on the sticks... like how u do it for satay... the owner was surprised (and maybe secretly pissed) took the plate away from me and took the sticks out from the food and gave me back the plate.... so i understood... take out the sticks AND THEN put the sauces... this is because they recycle the sticks.... which made sense but still.. haha... malu-nye

so that was my experience eating lok lok in penang... fun actually but it can be messy if u don't know how to do it and can stand the food-from-hot-water-to-mouth process... i can't, i'll burn my lips/tounge....

i think lok lok is abit $$$ too.. but i know la.. not as expensive as sushi!!! *shy* (blogspot should have smiley functions!)

feeling restless

yes i'm feeling restless...not on what to do.... but on what to say? i want to say something to make it better, but i don't know what to say? am scared that i might say the wrong thing, i'm torn between the two and i feel shitty... i'm all 100% for support, but what is support without speaking as a "support"? i really want it to be better... or at least make it feel that i am there as a support.... but i can't seem to find the words to say....

i'm really sorry....