honesty....

when u're used to being honest with your baby, it's hard not NOT being honest...

had a small row with my baby last night, it was because i was feeling soo down and lonely until that i went to meet a very old friend who's quite controversial. i wanted to not tell my baby, but i couldn't. we promised each other to tell each other everything, whether it's good or bad, whether it'll make the other happy or sad. so i couldn't, i had to tell him and i did... i felt really bad.. i hope my baby will forgive me.

i'm so sorry sayang...

that's one thing about being honest, i feel that when u feel and be honest, it's one way of relieving yourself from guilt and deception. and it'll be better if the person you are being honest to realised, understand and is able to forgive you. it is hard to have people to own up to their mistakes and most of all it's hard to find people who actually understand your situation and forgive you. that is why, even it seldom happens, i've always liked people to be honest. honest in a sincere way and not being honest in a bad way.

i've always respect and appreciate my baby for his patience and understanding. he has tolerated all my 'stupidness', unwanted behaviour and what not.... he has helped me alot to be a better person, a better girlfriend and a better friend and i'll always appreciate, be grateful and thank him for all that. it's very hard to find someone who's able to take my sh**. and by being away from each other for long periods, it's amaizing that we could last this long and it's all to him for being so patient and tolerant with me.

thank you for loving me, baby.............

dull....

i know i was supposed to write last night but i was too sleepy!!! was out with my cousin and friends (2 couples, i was the lamp post) for dinner and a movie. i didn't join them for dinner as i ate at home and was in a tight budget but i sat there and watched them eat, really nice food!!! i had a taste of it and yum.... will definately go there when i get a chance to!!!! then went to watch LEMONY SNICKET'S : A SERIES OF UNFORTUNATE EVENTS and by the time they sent me home... too sleepy.. had to go to bed..

i got up really late today!!! had the whole day to myself!!! thought of going out cause i got the car, but then had no one to join me (quite pathetic aint it?) so was up late, whole morning gone, watched tv till now, whole afternoon gone.. so maybe i might just go out to gurney drive to have some supper or something tonight after dinner.. who wants to join me

i feel so dull, restless yet sleepy and tired. i feel like i have no purpose in life. though there in KL my baby has loads of work until he can't do some of it because it's R.A.I.N.I.N.G in KL!!!!! i'm soooo jealous!!!! it's like freaking hot here in Penang!! he has some chores like painting to do for my cousin's house in KL (my cousin is in Bahrain) but he can't, cause of the bad weather... sigh...

i hate this feeling of being alone, i know i should be strong enough to overcome this but i can't help it. i'm glad that the day is ending soon as it's gonna be a hectic week ahead. i'd rather be busy and lonely than free and lonely. i know i should be concentrating more on my thesis and putting my head into finishing it A.S.A.P!! but somehow it's nice to have someone around, to have a laugh, whine, crap, gossip...

hmm... better stop, cause like some people say, it's bad feng shui to feel negative, bad, down or talk negatively... because it'll bring bad chi to ones self... so i'll try to be more cheerie and positive.....

aaauuuuhhhhhhh......... :(

Mother Nature's BLUR....

it's a very blur day today... the weather doesn't look too good. it looks like it's gonna rain but it's not, it's windy but it's still hot. i think mother nature is blur today.

bloody hell, got up soo early (even though i slept at 4am from being out last night-yeah, went to SOHO!! heheh) and went to college to see my supervisor, guess what?! my friends and i waited for her for 1 hr and she didn't turn up, only when we decide to get some breakfast near our college, she calls up saying that she's there already. we told her we'll take about 10 mins (cause we were still eating) to come back to college to see her, she said "i cannot wait, see u monday.." and just slammed the phone!!!!!she didn't even say what time on monday.. sheesh!!!! how rude can she be!!! bloody ir*q*s!!! can't even wait for us for a while. so we just stay cool and calm, she did make US wait for 1 hr!!!!

so now i'm at home, resting abit, will be going to the education fair at PISA to meet that SEFA guy.

will be back to write more! stay tuned!

TGI Friday!

it's friday! it's friday!! yippie!!!!

so i woke up today to a sweaty sweaty feeling... it's soooo HOT!!! and talking to my baby on the phone he tells me the country is on FIRE!!! thought he was joking (like he always do!!). i got up got ready and went to tesco to get the papers (i got car what, tht's why can go to tesco!! nyeh nyeh nyeh!!!) and also paid bills and sent some letters. true la, malaysia is burning!!! we're in a 'HEAT WAVE' no more the so-called tidal wave but HEAT WAVE!!! and this is gonna last till end of MARCH!!! aarrggghhhhh i hate the HEAT!!!!

then anna comes and ask me if i think it's gonna rain cause she couldn't see Penang hill (it's her indication of rain, if can see the hill-no rain, if cannot see the hill-rain). i told her that i think it's the haze and after reading the papers, i told her it's the haze....

here in college, waiting for my supervisor to come to sign a letter of request to install the second NIC... she's not here yet.

oh yea.. education fair is back in Penang! it'll be in PISA (as usual) starting tomorrow. i got this letter from the Star Education Fund (cause i got a scholarship from them in 1999) and it seems they are coming up with an alumni (how do u say that word?? air-lum-nee or air-lum-nai??anyone???) consisting of past recepients of the scholarship. they are having their AGM on the 5th of March in KL. i'm quite interested in going but... KL.... so i email the person in charged and he told me to meet him at the fair (in PISA) to discuss about this alumni. you know what the alumni is called? SEFA, Star Education Fund Alumni and this 'society' is registered in the country's Registar of Societies!!! hope i'll be able to meet this guy tomorrow at PISA... can't wait!! i know i know.. it's a nerdy thing....

hmm... what's up tonight.. well, will be watching Ta Changin (Jewel in the Palace) and maybe meet up with an old friend at Northam Beach Cafe.. it's been awhile since i hung out with him. Might go to SOHO after that!!! it all depends on the mood......

my mum tells me i could have the 'slug bug blue' till MONDAY!!!! yeay!!!!!! anyone wants a ride?????

why the need of paperwork?

sigh... when u want things done u can't because u need to write letters of request, fill in forms, request permissions.... all that just to install winXP and put an extra NIC in the computer???... sheesh!!!! no wonder students tend to use other 'means' of getting their thesis done in a short time!

so here i am again in the lab, all alone.. feeling cold.. NOT!!(see the post before this) the 'waiting' is over but instead of going ahead of getting things done, got to do those paperwork and 'waiting' for my supervisor to finish her meeting so that i can get the paperwork done..... so.. here i am 'waiting' again... maybe i should change my name to 'waiting dugong' !!!! (my actual nick is Pinky Dugong.. how that came about??.. another long story...)

hmm.... its a funny thing this computers and technology.. it supposedly to make life easier and faster without much hassle and yet it somehow becomes a burden at times because when technology is advancing (is there such a word?) like every second of the day, users like u and me must update ourselves to it, if not we'll be lost and will be back to square 1 like when we thought how could we use a mouse with our computer?!! and there was no such thing as chatting!!..... like today, i was chatting with my cousin (who is in kl) using y**** msger and i was telling him bout my blog. so instead of just typing in this blog's URL in my chat box (for him to click on it and come straight to my blog) i had to type out 'shimmers999 dot blogspot dot com' for him!! why?? it's because the version he has of that msger cannot detect a URL in the chat box!!! i think he didn't get the latest version... so there u go... that's what gonna happen if u don't update yourselves... hey!! don't look at me.. i'm still considered a beginner in this world eventhough i'm studying it!! bluueekkk.... i'm as blur as anyone of u out there when it comes to computers and technology...

i'm starting to see how studying what we are studying is quite helpfull for our future but i could be wrong, as i'm not working yet. some of my friends who are working, say that what they studied in college has nothing to do with their job (and mind u, they went overseas to study!!) and only the very few lucky ones who has a job that is very closely related to their field of study can happily say that what they studied is paying off.. how i wish that i will be one of those lucky few.... but then again, i'm not too keen on what i'm studying too.. yes it's interesting, yes it's usefull in everything but like some will say, no satisfaction, no 'feeling' from the heart... as some of my very close friends (like the Dugongs) know... i'm not too keen in this computer stuff (if i was i would be done in 4 years!! not 7 years!!!) i'm more of a food, cooking, baking type of person. i would really like to see myself selling my creations, making everyone FAT!! (eerr.. myself too) and just doing it with my bare hands. guess i didn't have that self motivation and support from family to get on with it. my baby thinks that i'll achieve that whether now or even later, he thinks i will. i don't have that confidence but he does and i'm so glad that he does.

sigh.. all of this emotional writing is making me all sad... better stop now.... it's like 6.15pm and soon i'll have to get back as this lab has a class soon... so till tomorrow...

SEE WHAT I'VE BEEN UP TO!!

ps- dugongs, want to go out makan?

Ahhh..... so nice!

aaaahhhh..... sooo nice.. went to meet mum at the jetty at noon to get my 'slug bug blue'.... cause i really can't stand walking to college in the hot HOT hot sun anymore!! so now i'm abit more motivated to go to college in the afternoon... phew... but then it won't be long till i start walking to college under the hot HOT hot sun again!!! sigh... well, i just have to enjoy my lil luxury while it lasts...right??


My slug bug blue!! as what my baby calls it!! (without the 'P' of course!!)

so did he call last night?? yea... he did... after he got up!! can u believe it.. he slept at 7am until when he called.. at 2am TODAY!!!! sigh... just wished he'd get back to his routine of sleeping early, getting up early and GOING FOR CLASS!!! (u hear that Mr. LIM!!! i know u'll be reading this!!)

so i haven't gone to college yet, don't want to 'wait' like yesterday, i think after downloading some files my friend sent me i'll go get a bath and D.R.I.V.E to college... nyeh nyeh nyeh... NO WALKING!!!! YIPPIEEE !!!!!!

no calls..... sigh...

so it's thursday early early morning, waiting for my baby's call... usually he'll call around this time.. but no calls... i'll just go ahead bathe and go to sleep...

i'm guessing he's fast asleep... i know he's had a hard day.. long hours in college.... OR... playing games...since there's a new cafe in town!!! sheesh....

OR

*the first one is Warcraft III and the second one is Disciples II

will get back to writing later in the day.... stay tuned!!

*see if he'll call or not...

Guilt strikes !!! with an apology..

ok ok.. so i didn't read Rosalind's blog...

so after writing my first blog, was still 'waiting'.. i decided to read her blog.. i went through my old emails with her (she emailed me her blog address) found that email and went to read.. man!! i missed so much!! *looking down.. and guess what?! she even did a birthday dedication for me in her blog!!!!! *guilt is eating in..

Rosalind.. so sorry for not reading your blog!!! *puppy eyes.. forgive the dugong in me...

well at this moment, she might want to smash my face with her cake... but it's ok.. i shall take it like a man!!!! hhmmppphhhh.... ok i'm ready ROSALIND!!!


aarrgghhhh here comes the cake !!!

aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh......................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My first entry in this 'online diary'!

should i say 'dear blog'? well it doesn't sound nice...

i was first very sceptical about this blog thingy.. but after reading some of my 'friends' (more like strangers) blog i thought about it... and also being a computer student and spending loads and loads of my time online or at my pc, i should have one!!! it's like how can a computer student not have a computer at home?? right or not?? so here i am registering and writing my first blog...

i've heard bout this blog thingy.. people can actually register many blogs for themselves!!! one blog for what did they do with their dog today or where did i drive or what happened in college or what i did with my bf/gf or what my parents said to me .... stuff like that... well to me, if they have the time in whole world to do that.. go ahead... i won't, as i'm not as interesting or 'happening'.. nothing much happens in my life.. so i realised.. how sad uh??

ok while i'm doing this, i'm at college.. supposedly doing my thesis, but i'm actually waiting for this lab assistant to help me get things done (install winXP pro, put in another NIC in my router). sorry guys for those who's abit blur (or like my dugong friends would say.. dugong) of what i'm saying... well it's bout my network in college. YES... i'm setting up a network in college as my thesis. so back to the story, am here in college 'waiting', i decided to create a blog. actually, it was Rosalind (my fello dugong, we call her Ah Ma Dugong) who gave me the idea, she has one but psstt i haven't read hers yet! eeeeeee :) shhh......


Fi and Rosalind !

so here i am again with my first post in my first blog.. enjoy everyone!!!