conversations techniques

i've always thought that i was doing ok talking to ppl, be it strangers, old friends or new friends... but after a while without "practice" i seem to fall back...

someone told me that in my conversations, i'm being put-offish or negative... like when someone starts talking about the music THEY like (which I don't) i'll tell them that i don't and *poof* the conversation ends... or if i try talking about the things i like cause i don't know what they like, they don't layan me... so.... how do i go around this?

if i don't know what they're into.. how would i know what to talk to them about? do i talk to them about the obvious? like if i meet them at a mall, do i talking about shopping? or if i meet them at a Linkin Park concert do i ask them if they like Linkin Park? .. it's like duhh right....

i hate it when i see someone, say hi and all, finish with the small talk.. and then after that.. dunno what to say, both will be standing there silent..... so in the end.. it's either i break it and say i gotta go.. or the other fella will have to do that... and i hate it when especially i enjoy that other persons company, but somehow there's not much to say.... and we got to part....

new ppl at work... yes it's all hi bye scenario... but how do i get to know them more... how do i start making them want to talk to me? i'm all for it, talking to them.. but are they the same to me? do they WANT to know me? sigh.....

for some i did get to talk to them, but after that one subject... nothing else... end of conversation... yes there's work... yes there's lousy customers on the phone... yes there's.... agghh.. what the heck....

my point is... how do i make ppl WANT to talk to me? or is asking already a put-off?