Wednesday, August 15, 2012

WHAT WAS I THINKING???

i guess i wasn't

thought i could handle it but i guess i couldn't... i shouldn't have said "Hi". it backfired on me. padan muka for trying to be a hero... again. now it's back to another 4 or issit 5 (i lost track) years and assholes before i gain another courage in my gut to say "Hi" again.... maybe i won't, maybe i shouldn't, maybe i should stop caring and wishing for fairytales that "everything's gonna be alright" cause i know it won't, not with you, and i don't think it will, even for another 4-5 years and assholes

i'm sorry i said "Hi"... i'm not saying it to you, but to myself

1 comment:

aaron boney said...

...I am not leaving this box at the top of the stairs until I find self, source and first and foremost love...choosing to experience exile from my heart almost crushed me...there were moments when , overcome with grief, I cryed out to my father .."I don't think I can do this, I don't think that I'm going to find my way...immediately I was enveloped in the most powerful energy...but can you imagine how difficult it is to overcome the conditioning needed to carry humanity up and into the higher self that they are, shocked was I, at the depth of healing needed in this age of poisons on every front..
.I honor those whom I refer to as our dancing partners for they taught me and all of humanity so much ..please I need your love, I need to hear from my family, to know that I have a deep and powerfully loving family who each and everyone of them,could heal a million of the disconnected souls such as I... Please allow me to say hello to you in forty days..that simple gesture of love, "hi" was what sparked the fusion of my union with self, love,my father and all my brothers and sisters