there she goes...

yup.. it's her last day here with us... the day was still awkward eventhough we both know (indirectly) that we should put what happened last week behind, but i guess we both have our egos, and didn't want to be the one to break the tension....

but anyway, less tension today, cause we had a fairly good time yesterday at the lunch.... but i guess, when u have a scar, a scar will fade but will never go away.

again, i just want to send my good wishes to her for her future...

decision has been made

yea i've decided to be patient... though i'm fedup of being patient, but i'm doing it... i just hope he doesn't take me for granted.... take his time and have me being "patient" for LOOOOONG....

so to YOU,

my patience is not very strong i tell u....

it could end any time....

so, better get going!!!

show me progress!

i want to see something!

the 3 musketeers!

finally, she, he and i managed to meet up and went to patronise the new makan place that was just opened in e-gate... SUBWAY!!!!

YES!! Subway has finally found itself in Penang.... so now penangites have more choices for healthy food.... nyeh nyeh nyeh....

so he and i braved the jam from work to Subway (actually, me going to fetch her first and then meet him there)... he finished work at about 5 and only reached at 6+ and i finished at 6, went to fetch her and met up the same time as him.... the next obstacle was to get through the rush at Subway, with the new opening and all that...

to our surprise, it seems the management didn't expect the big crowd!! they were not prepared with enough bread!!! so since we planned to hang out the whole night, the lady in charge told us that we'll have to wait for our order, 30 mins later,... so we paid for our order, gotten our drinks (will tell u more bout the drinks part) and sat outside... (ohh btw, dude, i still owe u my share)... we came to find out that one of the "partners" of Subway was his boss!! damn, u could see his face turning red when his boss approached him and asked about his work WHILE wiping and cleaning tables!!! hahahah just imagine, seeing our bosses cleaning while we're there sitting and waiting for our orders... amaizing isn't it? when it come to outside of the office... it's different

so anyway, the drinks, so it seems, when we pay for the order, we get empty cups (like Burger King) and we got to fill them ourselves, but there is no FREE refill... so fine... the machine's there, but there were no ice (sad me!) and what i saw was a small size coleman that were supposed to be filled with ice, were empty!!! fine... no ice.. still can survive.... so we tried to fill our cups.... coke... none, sprite... none.... ice lemon tea... GOT!!.... so the 3 of us had ice lemon tea.... sad right? the machine has so many types of drinks, but ... no drinks

we were talking.... u open a well known eatery and u're not prepared for the crowd? no bread, no drinks, long waits? unexceptable man.... what, u expect ppl to just drop in your shop, look at the menu, say hi and leave? PENANG PEOPLE WANT TO EAT man!!!!! just imagine, we reached nearly 7pm.... gotten our food at 8 (i think, we didn't keep track of time) and when our food came, there was a LOOOOOONG line....

so for those who wants to open a makan shop AND send brochures online in a multinational company, PLEASE expect a LARGE crowd....

anyway, after ooohing and aaaahing the food i was eating.... he got bored and wanted to have a drink, so we headed to Flix and got a drink... i was wanting to have one cause i felt it's been ages since i had one and was stressed because of her and him.... so the 3 of us had drinks.... weather was lovely, had breeze till it drizzled and because he had work tomorrow, we left by 10+....

it was a good night, simple, casual nite... good company, good chat.... a good nite... and we cheered our glasses to our friendship and more of nites like this....

ohh... by the way, she and him are second cousins!

happening weekend!

there's so much happening here in penang during this weekend!!

first the Penang Hawker Festival started yesterday... and it'll go on through tomorrow.... then there's the Feast of St Anne's where the BIG celebration is tonight!!! (hope we'll be able to get a parking space when we go to church)... then the Penang bridge will be closed tonight from 3am to 10am for the Penang Bridge Marathon....

AND....

my department is having a sunday buffet lunch at Golden Sands tomorrow!! and i can't wait!! free buffet who won't be excited? and after that she and i will be meeting him at Upper Penang Road for the closing of the Hawker Festival... so for the events taking place tomorrow, i'll be going down to penang tonight (after St Anne's) to skip the jam on the bridge and be safe and NOT be late for the buffet!

uh...

and the bf is in Melaka with his mum, bro and sis... convention... like i care....

Hello

hello to a new friend i made.. though i knew of his existance quite a number of years back when we both went to a Toastmasters day-course sponsored by the PEA (Penang Eurasian Association)... yup his dad and my dad are friends...

trevor started work at my place a month ago in a different department and sort of became friends... surprisingly we could clique.. heheheh... so now he's my thanni kaki, clubbing kaki (though we haven't gone clubbing yet), makan kaki and hang out kaki...

at least now my life isn't that dull.... YEAYness!!!!

Good Bye

Dear You

The day has come, and you got to go. You're going on a different path and i'm happy for you. though i wished you won't go, but if it was me, i'll go too.

we've known each other for nearly close to a year, and i thank you for giving me an exciting year here. somehow down the line, u've become one of my best friends and i was glad i had someone i could clique with easily here. was too scared when i first came here, not knowing if i would be able to get along with the ppl here, and then i met u here...

it wasn't a drag to come here every morning cause i knew u'd be there and make it fun... we had some stuffs in common and some not, but that wasn't a big issue. i had fun talking with u bout our bfs, thanni-ing, the clubs and our own school life and stuff... oohh and u introduced me ebay and i introduced u blogging! hahahahh that was good, we've always had a good time when we do get a chance to makan together... but all these fun times, there's also the bad... though at times u had your moods and i too had MY moods (though maybe i'm also to be blamed for some of it - some i may know about some i may not) but we've always gotten out of it and everything will be fine.

i know i shouldn't get too close to ppl here, cause ppl come and go and it'll be heartbreaking when i get very close to one, and when that one has to leave... sigh....

the bottom line is...

though u may not treat me as one of your good friends, i do hope for the best in your future. don't forget me though. i'm sorry for everything i did wrong to u (consiously or not). Very sorry...

Keep in touch ya.

Bye Bye

Me

St. Anne's Feast

it's the feast again... and i'm trying my best to go for the novenas... i've missed last years feast, so i HAVE to go to this years... HERE is the time table for the Novena times

this time is a bit different, the church has built LIFE SIZE of the Way of the Cross.. that's like 13 (or issit 12) stations? it's being placed all around the compound... u got to go hunt for these statues according to which one comes first... no map though (which i think they should have) but it would be fun....

everytime when there's announcements to be made during mass, Father will always say that so many ppl has been impressed with the statues and that it was a good thing... unfortunately this beauty doesn't come free... donations are wanted to pay off these life size statues.... the statues will be blessed tomorrow at 3pm for those who's interested... i'm sure it's gonna be a grand event.. just like when the new church was officially opened by some big fella from the Vetican (YES!! i was there to witness it!)

the Old Church (known as the St Annes' Chapel) is nicely painted and the volunteers working in it is very systematic, just hope that it will last especially during the big days like tomorrow (the actual feast day) and the weekend.... i'm thinking of being there on sat for the procession and all but.. who wants to go with me??? i'm all open for company!

here are some pics i took of the life size statues.. i didn't take all (err.. cause i couldn't find some...) and also because there were so many ppl hogging these statues it was quite hard to get pics without having living ppl around it.. hahahha....

so if u want to really see it and admire it, go after the feast where all the hoo haa has ended.. then u can take your time to look, pray and experience St Annes' chi (aiseh man!! hahahah) ohh ooohh.. they also cleaned up and did some renovation on the hill at the back of the church.. like proper steps and stuffs... go check it out..

decisions....

so u're given a choice...
A) be patient
B) take the next best candidate u get

am i patient enough? how long should i be patient? can patience be measured? someone told me that patience cannot be measure (like how long one can be patient) isn't patience = waiting? no? if it IS waiting, i can't wait too long...

next best candidate... will i take it? i wouldn't know.. i don't see any next best candidates coming my way.... and even if there is... i'm still too confused about all this...

is it wrong for a female to want to depend on someone? i mean she can be the purest feminist of all, pro-girl power, earning her own money, having her own investments, hse, car and all that... deep down, at the end of the day, she does need someone... be it a man or a woman la (hahah.. depends on her preference) AND i believe at the same time she doesn't want to have a bum to go home to..

i may be wrong for some women out there, but that's what i feel, at the end of the day, i still need companionship... i still need someone to talk to, feel comfortable with... should i still be patient? (i've been doing this for god knows how long...) or should i just take what comes to me....?

sigh.....

got also ppl like that

*WARNING* rant coming up...

some girls are just pure bitches i tell u..... they pick their friends and if u're not one of them, they'll give u an attitude like no one else! u can't start a conversation with them, they'll be ignorant to u and talk to u as if u're stupid.. the only time u will have a proper conversation with them is when THEY start talking to u.. if not, it's like bugger off!

i mean wat the fuck la... we are all friends, just because some are more lucky than the others doesn't mean it gives u the right to show off and feel more supperior than the others.. and i thought we were buddies.. i guess not, u stick to your own kind...

can't wait for THAT day to come....

finally.... not!

finally he gets it that we need to TALK... but will that happen? will he call as he promised? i.. don't.. think.. so!!!!... and lets say if he DID call, would i be alone and have the time to talk to him? he has this tendency to call at the wrong time where both my parents are around and when i'm about to do something or go some place...

see.. ppl ask to see him... no.... he wants to call.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH very funny la this!

The adventure starts

Should i go to Bukit Kayu Hitam? should i go to Taiping? hey! wat about "visiting" Penang?!! she and i haven't been to some places... so set!! we decided on the War Museum, Kek Lok Si and the Blue Mansion! yeay.. we got a plan!

Saturday, woke up early, went to fetch her and headed first for the War Museum. 10 am we reached and it was cooling. we were in awe the first glance we had.... entrance fee was RM15... yea i know quite $$$... but then, compared to what the POW (Prisoners of War) had to go through there, no $$ can compare to that... so before we started, we had a brief explanation of what this place is about and was told to follow the red arrows... do not go off course!

*to those who are interested in going, wear sports shoes and light clothings... i tell u... if not.. u'll regret

the first thing u see before the entrance to the War Museum

so once we started, the first exhibition was a tunnel... there was light so we went in.. hahah... it was a storage room for the explosives and guns and what not... interesting... from there there were more tunnels where u got to crawl and climb, but we dare not (i know, chicken shits!) anyyyywayyy.... the brouchure said to follow the RED ARROWS and there were no arrows stating to climb and crawl through tunnels?!!

the tunnel we went through

and so we came out from there and just followed the arrows, next we were lead to this place they call the shooting range or something like that... and it seems there were a few of these.. and everyone of them had storage for bullets AND quaters for the "Officer in Charge" hahhaha.... quite creepy actually... knowing so much shooting and firing was done here... and we could see the sea from here... so i guess they were shooting the ships or intruders coming from sea... but now it's all hedges and jungle... no clear view

at the Officer-in-Charge quaters

shooting range

Holiday Holiday Penang

so we're half way through the War Museum... sweating like a pig.. but it was still somehow cooling, cause it was still morning... i think it would be worst if we went after lunch... but anyway, we're in a jungle so... not much la hot sun...

we came to the second shooting place, and had a wall that was blown up... the signs says "Effects of Bombing"... looks same as u see in the news, houses, walls, buildings that got blown up... quite sad actually, to know such killing and bombing happened here.... and when the sign at the entrance said "Welcome to Malaya".. really la... u can feel u're in age..

who dare bomb my house!!

then we came to a look out tower, it was 3 stories high i think... the 3rd floor u got to climb ladders built to the wall... i wanted to but then thinking this building is so old, the ladder might just fall off with my weight, so we didn't... we took the stairs up to the second floor, and she just got the reason on why they asked us to bring a binoculous.. so that we can use it at the lookout tower la!!! but can't see also cause lots of trees blocking the view..

peekaboo!!

towards the end of the trip, there was the torture area... oh nooo..... *secretly i was excited.. there was the chopping-of-heads place... then the so-called torture room... gory... women were raped, ppl were burned alive, tools were used to dunno do what.... eeee....

can u spot the axe, skull and sword?

it says.. Torture tools by Japs

through these gory parts, there was a memorial plate, dedicated to the dead from which years to which years, which wars.... there were flowers around it... quite nice actually.... and it was good that they built it... at least the dead are recognized....

we came to a tunnel, it was dark, there were posters and photo frames on the walls... its obvious that ppl can actually walk through it... but it was dark.. no lights.. at the entrance there was an oil drum.. it says, "Hit twice and the lights will come on.." so we stupidly hit it twice la..!! so dunggu... i look properly at the thing, no wire also to the lights... felt so stupid! HAHAHAH and we did it twice... :P we went in as far as we can, as far as there was light.. but after that.. it was too dark.. too scary, i would have gone in if we had a torch light.. but we didn't bring any... hp light sucks btw.....

it says.. Guiness is good for you...

one of the rooms (or houses) there had a box up on a shelf... (u can see the pic above) .. it's like so weird, with all this war and stuff, they can still find it in themselves to enjoy abit of their living lives... hahhaha with Guiness.... hey i'm not promoting Guiness ok... i don't even like the drink! LOL!! or maybe they were suggesting us to have a drink when we leave the museum ;)

tools used during the war

there were so many things there to see... it'll be hundreds of pics if i wanted to take and show u ppl... so if u're already interested (which is good!) ... GO!! Go to the War Museum!! u won't regret it!!

next was Kek Lok Si... was too hungry so we decided to makan first.. of course we went for LAKSA!! my favourite!!! ohh with refreshing sugar cane ! and nice crunchy poh piah!! lovely... especially after all that walking.... but wait... there's more to walk!! die!

lunch - Air Itam LAKSA!! yeah babeh!!!

so the walk up to Kek Lok Si... interesting.. loads of shops left and right, shop owners shouting, pushing u to buy... and finally.... FINALLY we reached the turtle sanctuary.... loads of em... the bigs ones had moss over their body, hungry like hell... u could feed them with kang kung (RM1 per bunch) but the second u throw in the pond, it'll be gone.. they're THAT hungry i tell u!

the turtles at the foot of the temple

Cuti Cuti Penang!

so i think the quote for putting up pics in one post is filled... but anyway, we managed to reach Kek Lok Si... after a hards hr work of climbing stairs while window shopping.. though i don't really like the ppl that sell those things... they're too pushy, worst than the ppl at Batu Feringghi night market...

we reached and i was in awe... the temple is so huge!!! and lovely!! (it was abit dirty at the pathways though) the buildings were so colourful....

on the way up, the entrance to this place, it's like going through a hidden city, shops are built on stairs... not on flat land and when u reach the top and see the path u just took... fuhh... u actually went through the whole village!

the scenery from up here is lovely, luckily we had blue clear skies.. though at one point, we were afraid there was rain..

here's one at the main temple...

since we are here, it'll be a waste if we didn't go see the mighty huge statue! so Rm4 was paid each and sat on the AIR-CONNED train-lift... noted the AIR-CON i stressed? yes, it was our only 5 minutes of luxury... yes we were so hot from the War Museum and the "hike up" through the shops to the temple, that even standing infront of a fan is wonderful!!

when we reached up there, there was a park, had a pond with waterfall and fishes, and infront of the temple, there was statues of all the animals in the Chinese Zodiac, all 12 animals! we found our animals and "posed" with it... very nice indeed...

i was just thinking, just imagine if we came in a group, it'll be so much fun knowing which animal are u...

she and her dawg!

when my turn came to take a pic of my animal

she : go ride your cock!

me: ...uh?

we: LAUGH LAUGH LAUGH!!!

me: how can?!! got ppl!! ( i would u know, if there were no one around, sit on the chicken..)

the scenery here was better.... u can see practically the whole of penang.... town part la... we were just imagining the crowd of this place when Wesak Day comes... and the beauty of this place at night....

if u noticed there's some pillars being built around "her"... they're actually making a roof over her head.. can u imagine how high and huge that would be? so to get finance for this project the temple came up with so-called selling of tiles... where u can pay RM30 and above for a tile and write your name and wishes, these tiles will be used to build the roof... we saw quite a number of tiles that were "bought" and some were of orang putih's ones... interesting...

me and my cock! hahahah

since there were 2 of us, it was quite hard taking pics of us both in the picture with "her"... my tripod wasn't canggih enough so we had to do it manually.... unfortunately, i wasn't good enough, we had all of our heads cut off!! hahahha sorry!! hey, at least u can still recognize who is who... though i don't know who the gold one on the top right... hahahah

4 half heads

see how magestically "she" stands?!!! and see how freakingly small we are??!! amazing uh? and they want to build a roof over "her" head... OMG!!

so then, we had enough of the sun... it was sooo hot!!! and we decided to take the luxury 5 min air-con trip down.. and hike down back to civilization...

when we reached, i couldn't help it but suggested to have wonderful COLD coconut water!!! u can just imagine our faces when we took our first sip!

the next stop was at the BLUE Mansion!! Cheong Fatt Zhe (ros.. spelling?) we were tired and yet excited as none of us been there and not too sure bout the story of this chinese tycon....

look how small we are...

we reached there at 2.30pm.. the tour starts at 3pm... i brought her to one of the shopping boutiques and she was in awe.... hahahah.. too bad we only had bout 20 mins there... got to walk to the mansion to be in time for the tour... in the end we didn't get anything *phew*

so there, there was about 10 of us, half were orang putihs... and the tour started.. very interesting, it was about the guy who wanted to be a business man at 16.. managed to do so with 8 official wives...

i like this pic

the mansion actually belongs to his favourite wife, the 7th one... then it talked about the perfectness of the place in feng shui.... fuhh... impressing...

we were also showed that some deco in the house were made by broken bowls and that Gates took the method of "cut and paste" from the ppl who did these decos.. hahahha.. u have to go see it for yourself to know what i mean bout this place...

we couldn't take pics in the house, only outside... so we only took outside at the entrance...

at the Blue Mansion

so after the mansion, we decided to call it a day, got home to BATHE!!! we were waiting the whole day to take a bath because of all the walking, hiking, sweating.. hehehe... we met up again for church and dinner... didn't know where to eat...

we decided for this place at e-Gate... Tao... managed to get a place but when we saw the menu... it was Japanese!!!! if we wanted Jap, we could easily go to Sushi King! hahah so malunye, we left and went to another place down the block for western food... it was nicer, quieter and half empty... we could talk...

we talked and talked and talked till our eyes couldn't open anymore... was supposed to wait for her other half but it was getting too late for me... i had to drive back home u see.... so over all we had a wonderful day... loved it... must do it often.... now got to think where else to go... hahahah.....

anyone wants to join me for a day trip?

still feeling

single, i thought of having a day out with my girlfriend (who's also feels single right now)...

so where we went?

a trip around penang!!! yes... sad isn't it, being penangites and haven't been to most of the places in penang... so we decided to visit some tourist-see place.... we went to the War Museum then to Kek Lok Si and then to the Blue Mansion.... by the time we finished the tour... we were so sticky, sweaty, smelly and dead tired.... got ready for church and had a nice dinner at e-Gate to replenish our energy..... lovely day i say.....

girl friends rocks!! boy friends are arsses (i'm talking bout mine)

will put up pics soon...

contact has been made

yes somehow it was made but it was very brief, and no solution came out of it....

we decided to meet up instead to get things straightened, but this can only happen when he decides to meet me, or when he has the chance to meet me... in other words, when he's so called free from home la.... (secretly i don't know if he ever wants to leave home.... )

his relatives in the end didn't come to malaysia, so with that, supposedly he has nothing to do right? he could leave home, go back to KL and start finding a job right? well i wouldn't know, he seems to LOVE staying home.... he's just stays home.... and i know he's VERY comfortable being at home... doesn't want to do anything bout his future... like GETTING A JOB???!!!!! damn it!

there's so much one can tell a person, at the end of the day, it's up to that person to get up from his sitting ass and do something about it.... call me pushy, naggy and a brat, but i'm just thinking of my future.... i'm not getting younger u know... and i can't wait for eternity....

good and bad

news... which one u want me to say first?

so, 2 of my good friends at work, got permanent jobs (in a different department of course), they went to a walk-in interview and they got it. 1-GOOD for them that they have permanent jobs! 2-BAD now that i'll be mostly alone in my cube, no fren fren to gila with... :(

i could have also gone for the same walk-in and try my luck, but i don't want to work in that department, u can call me fussy, but na... customer care? a last resort for customers to shout, curse and scold u for no reason? i know there's more to it than that in that department but nah.. i don't want to be in that position... i know that it's a good stepping stone to "grow" at work, climb the stupid over-rated ladder, but for me, not through that path... i'd rather have ppl shouting and scolding me for MY mistakes, not the system / company's mistakes / incompitency....

the good side from this story is that i "guess" the competition of conversion in MY department is less, but then again, this place is full of surprises, u have no idea where things can go.... so, just have to pray hard, try my best to "impress" and hope that i'll be one of those who is chosen for conversion. no, i won't leave the company or leave the department when i get converted, i'm not like those ppl who get converted and move to another different department in a month - so ungreatfull. i'll be SO glad that i'm converted that i'm willing to just stay where i am for some time...

the bad side from this is that i'll loose 2 good friends, friends whom i can say my real buddies whom i can talk to, have fun with and just have good conversation with... when they leave, i dunno what i'll do, it'll be back to quiet ol shimmers, doing her own things, minding her own business.... sigh..... will miss them alot, i know they'll still be in the same building, and just a department (or two) away, but it's different... they'll do different tasks, work different hours, under different bosses.... and they only have to be slaves to the phone for only about 4 hrs a day!!!!!! not like me, 9 hrs a day!!!! the time u take a piss also is counted... sheesh!!!

anyway, all i want to say is,

Gahya and Sathya

CONGRATULATIONS

and be greatful that u got this chance.

Make use of it, work hard, impress hard and u'll go far....

thanks for all the good times i had with u guys,

don't forget me ah...

*cry cry cry*

wa beh tahan la

i thought when i wrote the reassuring-myself-that-everything-is-fine post (see below) that i'll be ok and i didn't need his phone calls, i was wrong... i can't live without his phone calls!!! i need to talk to him, i need to hear his voice.... (damn, i feel so incompetent and pathetic - but i can't help it!) it's been 4 days since i actually spoke to him properly!!!

sigh...

PLEASE CALL!!!!

(can someone save me from my misery?)

i'm single

(and maybe die a spinster) or at least until he and i have contact... i've tried calling but he's too busy (or sleeping) to answer my calls, and he's too busy to call me either... why? i don't know.. as far as i know he has relatives coming over so.... haven't been talking to him properly for the past week to know exactly what is happening.

i'll hold on as long as i can but it's hard... we've always spoken to each other every single day... even though it might be 10 mins or so, but we ALWAYS speak to each other EVERYDAY.... but now.... i don't know if i can get used to this, to not talking to him....

i don't want to be pushy or be the nagging gf... but still... i'm(we) so used to talking to each other, so when there is a gap, i start to panic, get angry, anxious, self consious.... it's the hardest when i don't know what's the reason for that gap... sigh....

so till i hear from him, i'm single....

*cry cry cry*

one and only

World Cup post and its at the end of the season! hahahha sorray!!! :P

so yea, was out for lunch today, (public hol but still working, but never mind, 3x pay!! hahahah) and we were talking about Italy winnig and all that.. i told my friends that i never knew World Cup existed until in 2002. YEA I KNOW!!!.. don't hit me!!! i only knew there was such thing as World Cup in 2002 when Japan hosts the games. the matches were shown during the day and i was in college. so i had the time to watch em....

i practically watched most of the games (psst psstt together with my mum) and got into the World Cup frenzy!! ... i told myself i'll wait till 2006 for the next one, but since it was in Germany, matches were at 3am in the morning.... i couldn't do that... get up early to watch... so yea, i admit *looking down* i didn't know the World Cup existed many many years ago....

though i didn't watch any of the games, i did sort of follow who was in and who was out... when i found out England was out.. i burst out laughing... why? i dunno... hahahahh (don't hit me!!!) but at the same time Brazil also was out!! i mean how could that happen? it's not even the semi-finals and they're out??!! bad bad, very bad.... just imagine, practically the whole world was crying, for England AND Brazil and i'm sure MILLIONS of $$$ in all currency was lost in bets.... then Germany was to fight for 3rd placing, sure malu if they didn't get 3rd placing, being the host and all that... then it happened, Italy and France... i couldn't tell (i know, i can't say much as i'm not a football fan) who i was rooting for, but somehow i was glad when Italy won....

so there u go, my one and only World Cup 2006 post.. hahahah

anywayyyyyyy..... World Cup 2006 winner is ITALY and i know someone who's VERY VERY HAPPY!!! Ah Ma Dugong!!!....

errr... ViVa la... Italy? O_o

an unexpected (actually expected) weekend

plans were made for us to hang out a few days until it was time for him to fetch his relatives (from the penang air-port) that were due to arrive from overseas next week. i was not to work on sat though i got to work on sun... thurs came and there were no plans made for the weekend... i thought, fine, maybe he's busy with stuff at home... friday came and i asked again, it seemed that everyone keeps bugging him bout his weekend, so he decided in staying home in bed (or just watching World Cup) and ignoring everyone else... so without asking furthure, i knew our weekend together was ruined...

so i decided to leave him alone, let him do whatever he wants without bugging him with phone calls.... there's obviously nothing i can do, cause he's like so far away....

don't want to think about what will happen next weekend, eventhough i won't be working BOTH sat AND sun.... sigh.... and they say only women has PMS.... sheesh...

ignored... AGAIN

yes i'm being ignored again... this is because someone is too fedup with what's been happening at home, and i'm the one who kena... so not fair...

sigh but what can i do? i can't call to have a "talk", that's the least of what he wants to do with me.... i know he just wants everyone to leave him alone... but then again, just because he's sick and tired of what's happeneing at home, i also got to leave him alone?

that's what u get in a long distance relationship... i know i've spoken loads about long distance relationship, here, here and here. talk about it until my mouth also dry. some ppl say, if u're not happy, leave.... but then if i do that it's like i'm not giving it (us) a chance... but then again, how many chances do i have to give? some say, i haven't been mixing around enough to find "the" one.... hello.... it's not like i'm a hot babe where i just snap my fingers and boys just fall at my feet? ....i know no one is perfect, and i do need to be patient... the question is, for how long?

sigh, just wished he'd just stop pushing me out of his life...

another girls nite out...

different girls this time.. hehhe

it's was a so called impromtu meeting, i saja asked them out on tues and they said they could make it on wed.. that's improvement man!! usually must plan one week before wan...

so had my mum to drop me off after work and met them for dinner... we went to the food court in the mall and had thai food, but .... errmm.. i had better thai than that.. heheeh.. but it was good enough to fill the tummy... then our miss sharon had to go get her pants/jeans from Giordano before the shop closed.... then i think from the food, we were not satisfied, so we went to have cakes at Secret Recipie!!! i had my cheese cake and i "stole" some choc cake from them...

we had great chats, about work (obviously) and boys.... hahahha.... but all in all everyone seems to be ok....

too bad it was brief, could have stayed longer but it's a working day and everyone was tired.... sigh....

now to meet my other girlfriends in KL... that's gonna be a tough one...

all in one pangkor

dunno can see or not... heheheh

she said it for me...

there's a post from one of the blogs i read everyday, being aja (of course i asked her for permission , :P), and she said everything i wanted to say in my previous post... so simple and yet so to the point... here's some of it...

............

Here, I have total strangers

aquaintances, my family

greatest friends, strictly online friends and

the like

So how do I get the correct message across?

Too often, messages get mixed

altered, taken the wrong way

like telefon berkarat

end product is always perceived differently

by an individual

So when I write, I write as though

I am speaking to my best friends

cos I know, they know exactly what I am talking about

..........

...well some do get me

others get the wrong opinion or idea

but seriously, can I really hope that everyone

sees me the same way?

Nahh.

........

birthday wishes

a big CALL OUT to

Mr Pak Caldo

for his Birthday Celebration that falls TODAY!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY yo!!!!

stopping ones self

blogging... what is blogging? i presume i wrote about this before, it's a new age era, where everything is tech savvy and everythings online, yes, even personal journals (or diaries some might say)

i started writing this blog, thinking it would be my diary, where i would write what i feel (cause i was lazy writing in a book... just imagine writing a long post, literally writing!! on paper with a pen, hand pain lor!!!)

then i started to see a trend to try to "lure" ppl to your blog and get lots of counts in your counters..... that's when pictures and juicy gossips came up... though it did work at times, i ran out with "interesting" stuff to write... hello...!!! my life isn't THAT interesting u know... i gave up on that, u want to read, read, if not suak! heheheh

i follow some popular blogs, i admire them for the contents they write, they write their heart out and not bothered of what ppl say! be it they may sound bitchy, or may be a drug addict or just ass holes, but they write what they feel... i wouldn't know if they censor themselves, i guess they do, to some extend... but what do they censor?

a blogger told me, choose your words wisely and u'll do fine, no rotten tomatoes will be thrown at you...

looks like that's what i got to do...

we finally went

yes to Pangkor....

reach already!!

Teluk Nipah....

salted shop
can see feet water!
boat ride to one of the small islands
conquering the Great Wall of China!!!!!.... not!

time to balik... sob sob

it's all on ones self

yes, u can hope ofr your friends to get u in a better race, but it's all in it for their own.... maybe u're not good enough, and they don't help... giving excuses like it's hard to get u in because of other better competitors, but if they really want to help u, they can.... sigh, i guess i'm not good enough...

opportunities are there, it's obvious... but it's whether u are strong enough to go out there to take it, grab it... u can't depend on other ppl to help u... it's all u... u fail because of u, u succeed because of u....

oohh everyone will say that they'll help, they say it with such feelings, but it's obvious that they just want to make u feel good...... and that's about it, they don't eventually.... the most they can do is tell u where the races are... they'll bring u to the race.. but in the end it's up to u (again) to sign up for it or not...

though i'm new in racing, but the stress is too much for me.... maybe i'm in the wrong kind of race? i do have my goals and trophies that i want, but it's way far far from what i was training for....

sigh....

how do u survive in a race that u have trained for but is not passionate about?

it striked again

usually i take it very briefly.... within a few hours it'd go away... but this time, it's been lingering there for days and days... tried my hardest to ignore it and push it away, but it wouldn't go... so i lost, and it got to me....

this time was bad... bad because i'm older, supposedly wiser and have not gone anywhere yet at my age.... the "other" side of me took over, i started to compare and when i did that, what i saw wasn't nice and i became worst.... i know i shouldn't but i can't help it, it's the way life is and if u're not in it, u'll loose out... loose out like how i'm loosing....

should i stay and HOPE that i will win eventually? or give up, take a big risk and leave... and not knowing if i will win in another race? should i stay in this race or not? it's hard to decide as this is my first race... and i'm not that type to "try" out the different races.... i can't, cause i don't feel i'm good enough.. or that i don't have the ability to try different races? what if i did try the other races and still be at the same position? what are the chances that i'll succeed in a race.. any race? sadly i'm not that kinda person who would take that risk...

i keep telling myself, and denying myself to feel better but infact it always comes back.. the truth comes back, the reality always strikes.... and when it does... it hurts... only the strong will be able to take that pain, and turn in into something good and positive and outdo the pain... i'm too weak... i'm not strong enough....

it hurts when u see others overtaking you... even though u've been in the race for long.... i'm trying my best to move forward but u can only move forward if there's space for you to move... how are u to move when all u see is a wall? maybe i just like staring into a wall....

then it came to mind that every problem always starts from something... so i went back to where and how i became.... i never did excel in anything. i never did stick to one and i never did finish what i started... why? because when it became difficult, i gave up, i'm a looser... those who were around didn't push me enough, is it because maybe they thought i didn't need pushing? was my mask that convincing? well too late isn't it? sigh....

didn't want to voice this out to anyone, cause i know there's nothing they can do... even if i did, it would all be words of advice and answers to the ones i already have... i know what's the problem, and i know what's the solution... the thing is now, am i strong enough to go ahead with the solution?

...... i still don't know.....

how i wish i was 12 and the only thing bothered me was does he like me?

girls night out.... again....

it's been a while since i went out for a girls night out... we had FISH!!!!! wanted to have the Hagan Daaz Fondue but some of us had to get back early... so we must make it the next time, no dinner but purely fondue... how? girls?? are u up for it? just ice cream, no dinner!! hahha

haven't started drinking yet, but mabuk already... how can like this??!!!!

food's here! is she eating 2 portions?

in concentration ... squeezing lemons... (that didn't sound right, heheh)

3 drunkards + 1 sober

other side of dubai - part 2

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other side of dubai - part 1

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pics with the ex-girls

sorry for the delay, tell u the truth, i was lazy :P

here are the pics with the small reunion i had with my ex-convent mates . girls, will email u the rest of the pics ya... give me some time...

at the banana leaf rice shop

Sheau Houy (classmate) and me

Leyna (school mate) and me