so i've

been feeling down for the past whole week...

i got to know some news which is good for that person but it wasn't to good for me because i couldn't achieve what that person achieved.... it's like it made me feel useless and i'm not meant to be. i know i shouldn't be sorry for myself but i am... and it hurst more when no one exactly feels the same way as i feel, i couldn't even explain it to my baby because eveytime i spoke to him, there are ppl around and also he sleeps during the day and i sleep during the night... so....

maybe i'm feeling a wee bit better after a few days, cause i had some chat with some friends, didn't eat lunch alone... but still the "wound" is still there....

maybe it's just my PMS taking over me again... but then again, i shouldn't be doing this to myself, i need to try to be happy of what i am, what i look like and where i come from....

sigh.....

i need to go clubbing, sweat it out in a smoky, crowded and loud place and maybe just get drunk.....

sigh......