do u ever...

have the feeling of nothingness? u dun feel happy yet you're not sad, u dun feel lonely yet u are, u dun feel frustrated and yet u feel something is not right, u feel u want to be alone but hate it when u're not...

i hate it when i get this feels.. it leaves me very restless... that i have to do something.. go some place, talk to someone.... i should be happy that this weekend is a weekend of nothing-to-do-ness and i obviously know that i won't get this opportunity very often.. next weekend i got to work both sat AND sun.... so i should be making use of this weekend right?

i guess when u have all the time u have u want to make it meaningful, spend it with ppl, do SOMETHING... and yet when u don't have the time... u crave for this moment.... it's so confusing....

at times like this, unwanted thoughts creeps in my head... i meant meaningless thoughts... like about ppl, about situations, about events... it's like it doesn't make sense but yet because of the nothingness it makes u think that it's VERY important.... and when u start "working", doing things again, those thoughts are forgotten....

i have a question, do one NEED to take a good look at ones self? especially when one gets older? is it WRONG to not know what u want? is it WRONG to just go with the flow? i mean, if u DO KNOW what u want, and u don't get it... it's heartbreaking right? so to save the heartbreak, why not just NOT KNOW what u want?