"i'm going to die a spinster"

... and that got his attention.... he tried to make sure that i wouldn't... but i guess somehow as time goes by, things happen and i don't blame anyone or anything for it...

it was good to know that there was someone out there who looked pass through my looks (and my low self-confidence) and had faith in me that i had something, something worth while, something that means something. he gave me that lil "up" in me, making me feel that everything is ok, that i can do it, that i'm not all that bad and that i'm ok...

now, things have gone differently and i'm not sure if i can find another someone that will give me that feeling again, that boost in life, that fresh air.... i'm sure there are ppl out there but..... sigh... i wouldn't know what to do/react/feel if there was someone who "could" be that another "somebody"....

sigh... well, i guess i WILL die a spinster after all and for the past 6 years, it was God's blessing that i was given the chance to see how it is like having someone there for u, being your pillar and giving you that boost that you can't get it on your own.... (and i'm always grateful and thankful for that - and maybe that could be the reason our "song" was Thank You for Loving Me...)

now i shall learn to be on my own, to find happiness and strength on my own... i AM getting there.... it's a slow process but i'm feeling much better, trying to "take a day at a time" and at the same time trying to appriciate everything that's around me... and hopefully, one day, someone will come along for me (that is la... if i'm meant to be with someone... O_o if not - i'll die a spinster)

so now, i'm open to all new things and especially new friends, to celebrate life! CELEBRATE LIFE!!!