it couldn't been said any better...
got this forward from a friend in my email.. i thought it was something so true to me....
What is PRESENCE?
A man going abroad to work leaves his fiancée crying. "Don't worry, I will write you everyday," he said. For years he did write her. But since he was happy with his job, he had no immediate plans of going home.
One day, he received a wedding invitation. His fiancée was scheduled to be married. To whom? To the mailman bringing regularly the letters of her boyfriend! Indeed, distance does make hearts flounder.
The poor boyfriend surely explained, "What went wrong? I sent her letters, chocolates, and flowers."
When relationships go wrong, the list of things given and done for the person usually crops up. We say, "I have given you this and that... I have done these things for you." It seems that love is simply proven by the bestowal of gifts and favors. But while presents are important, love demands what is basic: 'presence of the beloved'.
I have observed for instance, the orchids of my mother's. When she's away for a long time, they are unhealthy and many of them wither. But when she is around, they bloom with beautiful flowers. My mother does nothing exceptional. She just spends much time talking and caressing them.
I guess persons all the more require a caring presence.
Love is fundamentally a commitment to a person. We may be committed to our business, job, hobby, sports and clubs. But strictly speaking, they cannot love us back. Only a person can love us in return, and for that matter, the highest commitment as human beings, is spending time with those persons we love.
And since people need affection and nourishment, material things can only help up to a certain degree in fostering love. But it can never replace the greatest gift of presence becuz everyone needs someone - be it friends, parents, siblings or simply that 'special' one.
Being there for someone need not necessary mean having to say a lot. Words are sometimes redundant. Remember that 'presence' (to be there for someone) is more than enough.
What is PRESENCE?
A man going abroad to work leaves his fiancée crying. "Don't worry, I will write you everyday," he said. For years he did write her. But since he was happy with his job, he had no immediate plans of going home.
One day, he received a wedding invitation. His fiancée was scheduled to be married. To whom? To the mailman bringing regularly the letters of her boyfriend! Indeed, distance does make hearts flounder.
The poor boyfriend surely explained, "What went wrong? I sent her letters, chocolates, and flowers."
When relationships go wrong, the list of things given and done for the person usually crops up. We say, "I have given you this and that... I have done these things for you." It seems that love is simply proven by the bestowal of gifts and favors. But while presents are important, love demands what is basic: 'presence of the beloved'.
I have observed for instance, the orchids of my mother's. When she's away for a long time, they are unhealthy and many of them wither. But when she is around, they bloom with beautiful flowers. My mother does nothing exceptional. She just spends much time talking and caressing them.
I guess persons all the more require a caring presence.
Love is fundamentally a commitment to a person. We may be committed to our business, job, hobby, sports and clubs. But strictly speaking, they cannot love us back. Only a person can love us in return, and for that matter, the highest commitment as human beings, is spending time with those persons we love.
And since people need affection and nourishment, material things can only help up to a certain degree in fostering love. But it can never replace the greatest gift of presence becuz everyone needs someone - be it friends, parents, siblings or simply that 'special' one.
Being there for someone need not necessary mean having to say a lot. Words are sometimes redundant. Remember that 'presence' (to be there for someone) is more than enough.
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